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¶The treatyse answerynge the boke of Berdes. |
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¶To drynke with me, be not a_ferde | ||||
For here ye se groweth neuer a berde. | ||||
¶I am a foole of Cocke_lorellys bote | ||||
Callyng al knaues, to pull therin a rope. | ||||
sig: A2 | ||||
¶The preface, or the pystle. |
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IT was so worshypful syr, that at my last beynge in Mountpyllour I chaunsed to be assocyat with a doctor of Physyke / which at his retorne had set forth .iij. Bokes to be prynted in Fleetstrete, within Temple_barre, the whiche Bokes were compyled togyther in one volume named the Introductorie of knowledge / whervpon there dyd not resort only vnto hym marchauntes, gentylmen, and wymen / but also knyghtes, and other great men, whiche were desyrous to knowe the effycacyte, and the effecte of his aforesayd bokes, and so amonge many thynges, they desyred to knowe his fansye, consernynge the werynge of Berdes / He answeryd by great experyence. Some wyl weer berdes bycause theyr faces be pocky, maungy, sausflewme, lyporous, and dysfygured / by the whiche many clene men were infected. So this done, he desyred euery man to be contentyd: Wherfore I desyre no man to be dyspleasyd with me. And where-as he was anymatyd to wryte his boke to th'ende, that great men may laugh therat / I haue deuysed this answere to the entent: that in the redyng they myght laughe vs bothe to scorne / And for that cause I wrote this boke, as god knoweth my pretence / who euer keape youre maystershyp in helthe. | ||||
¶Here foloweth a treatyse, made Answerynge the treatyse of doctor Borde vpon Berdes. |
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CAllynge to remembraunce your notable reproche gyuen vnto berdes, I was constrayned to render the occasion therof, wherupon, I founde by longe surmyse and studye that ye had red the storye of Hellogobalus, and; founde therin greate and stronge auctoryties / which by lykelyhode mouyd you to this Reformacyon of berdes. For ye knowe that Hellogobalus beynge gyuen moche to the desyre of the body, and that by moche superfluyte, [h]e he] ye 1541 thought it requysyght to commyt the fylthy synne of leche[r]y lechery] lechey 1541, vpon the receyptes of delycate meates. For he caused his cokes to make and ordeyne suche hote meates that maye prouoke or stere hym the rather therunto. And in ther so doyng he made them some of his preuye chambre some of his hed lordes of his counsell But yet the chefe and pryncypall preseptes that he gaue vnto his cokes, was this that they shulde not only polle theyr hedes, but also shaue theyr berdes. For this entente, that when he were dronkyn, or vomety[n]ge rype by takyng excesse, that he myghte be well assuryd, that it came not by no heer of from his cokes heddes. For his delyght was not onely in the feminyne kynde / but also delyghted in womenly men / yet he and his fyne vnberdyd faces ledde not onely a vycyous lyfe, but also made a shameful ende. Notwithstandynge other that, or this storye folowynge was and is the occasyon why ye abore berdes, and that was this at your laste beynge in Mowntpyllyer, Martyn the surgyen beyng there with you, and dyd accompany dayly with none so moch as with you: yf ye be remembred, he brought you to dyner vpon a daye to one Hans_smormowthes house a duche-man, in whiche house you were cupshore, otherwyse called dronkyn, at whiche tyme your berde was longe / so then your assocyat martyn brought you to bed / and with the remouyng your stomake tornyd, and so ye vometyd in his bosome, howbeit as moche as your berde myghte holde vpon youre berde remayned tyll the next daye in the morenyng. And when ye waked and smelt your owne berde, ye fel to it a_fresshe, and callynge for your frende Martyn shewynge the cause of this laste myschaunce. Wherupon ye desyred to shaue you. And so when ye sawe your berde, ye sayd that it was a shamfull thynge on any mans face. And so it is in suche cases I not denye / yet shall ye consyder, that our Englysshe-men beynge in Englande dothe vse to kepe theyr berdes moche more clen text lacunose as A4 wanting | ||||
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text acephalous, wanting at least five lines | ||||
As lo[n]ge as any berdes be worne | ||||
Mockynge shall not be forborne | ||||
But yet at length, his is the scorne. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
5 | ¶With berdyd men, he wyll not drynke | |||
Bycause it doth in theyr berdes synke | ||||
The cause therof, ye may soone thynke | ||||
His berde in Flaunders ones dyd stynke | ||||
Whiche by dystulacyon | ||||
10 | Of a vomytacyon | |||
Made suche dysturbacyon | ||||
That it abored the nacyon. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Some berdes he saith doth grow a_pace | ||||
15 | To hyde an euyll-coleryd face | |||
In fayth his had an homlye grace | ||||
When he was in that dronkyn case | ||||
But sythe he doth this matter stere | ||||
To make that shauynge shuld be dere | ||||
20 | I thynke it doth full well appere | |||
That foles had neuer lesse wyt in a yere | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶A berde sayth he, wyl breyd moch care | ||||
If that he with his mayster compare | ||||
25 | Here may ye proue a wyt full bare | |||
That iudgeth so a man to fare | ||||
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What man lyuyng, I wold fayne knowe | ||||
That for comparason letes his berde growe | ||||
But yet though that a spyghtfull shrow | ||||
30 | His spyghtful wordes, abrode doth blow | |||
I fere it not, etc. | ||||
¶Of berdes he sayth, ther comms no gaynes | ||||
and berdes quycknyth not the braynes | ||||
Lo how in Physyke, he taketh paynes | ||||
35 | He merytes a busshel of br[e]wers graynes brewers] brwers 1541 | |||
He warneth also euery estate | ||||
To auoyde berdes, for fere of debate | ||||
If men, lyke hym shuld vse to prate | ||||
His warnyng then shuld come to late. | ||||
40 | I fere it not. | |||
¶If berdes also a purse doth pycke | ||||
As ye compare them to be lyke | ||||
Yet ye haue gotte more in one wycke | ||||
Then berdes in .x. togyther may stryke | ||||
45 | For by castynge of a pyspotte | |||
Ye haue pollyd many a grote | ||||
Yea and moche more god wotte | ||||
By falshede ye haue gotte. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
50 | ¶Yet one thynge more, I wyll assayle | |||
The daunger of drynkyng ye do bewayle | ||||
Beleue ye me, yf all do fayle | ||||
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In-stede of a cup, ye shall haue a payle | ||||
For you haue gyuen warnynge playne | ||||
55 | That berdyd men, shall be full fayne | |||
To brynge a cup, for theyr owne gayne | ||||
The more fole you, so to dysdayne, | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Note me well, for it is trewe | ||||
60 | Thoughe berdyd men, ye wyll eschewe | |||
There be moche honyster men than you | ||||
That wyl drynke long, or they do spewe | ||||
As you haue done, I knowe or this | ||||
Wherfore I say, though so it is | ||||
65 | I wyll not tell that is amys | |||
Yet wyll I tell, some trewyth ye_wys. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Yet of one thynge, that ye do treate | ||||
Howe that a berde, in a great swete | ||||
70 | By_lyke doth catche, a k[n]auysshe hete knauysshe] kauysshe 1541 | |||
Therby ye do a great prayse gete | ||||
For trewely vnfayned | ||||
your honyste is dystayned | ||||
All-though ye haue dysdayned | ||||
75 | Men knowe ye haue sustayned. | |||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Though in the wynter, a dew wyl lye | ||||
That dystylleth from the nose pryuelye | ||||
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To refrayne your cup, ye pray them hartly | ||||
80 | And all is for superfluous glotonye | |||
For glotony, is of suche a kynde | ||||
That ende of excesse, he can none fynde | ||||
Tyll past is both, the wyt and mynde | ||||
So one of those ye be assynde. | ||||
85 | I fere it not. | |||
The second parte of that songe. |
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I Lytell thought, ye were so wyse | ||||
Berdes to deuyse of the new guyse | ||||
But truely, for your enterpryse | ||||
Ye may go cast your wyt at dyse | ||||
90 | At syncke or syse, whiche so doth fall syncke or syse: see OED s.v. cinque, sice | |||
Fere ye not to cast at all | ||||
For yf you lose your lostes be small lostes: see OED lost n. | ||||
It is to dere, a tenys-ball. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
95 | ¶A berde vpon his ouer-lyppe | |||
Ye saye wyll be a proper tryppe | ||||
Wherby ye shall the better skyppe | ||||
Go your wayes, I dare let you slyppe | ||||
Where-as be many more | ||||
100 | I thynke by .xx. score | |||
In cocke_lorelles bote before | ||||
sig: [B3] | ||||
Ye maye take an ore. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Yet though that ye one thing do craue | ||||
105 | Which is a muster_deuyles berde to haue muster_deuyles: see OED musterdevillers; or=master devil? | |||
Ye make me study, so god me saue | ||||
If this peticion, came not of a knaue | ||||
Perhapes some other man dyd make it | ||||
And so ye dyd vp_take it | ||||
110 | But best ye were forsake it | |||
For fere of Pears_go_nakyt. | ||||
Nowe fere you that. | ||||
¶Ye say some berdes be lyke lambes-woll | ||||
With lytell wyt within theyr skull | ||||
115 | Who goth a myle, to sucke a bull | |||
Comes home a fole, and yet not full | ||||
And where ye wyshe them pekt with pyes | ||||
That weres a berde, vnto theyr iyes | ||||
Be wyse take hede, suche homely spyes | ||||
120 | Oftymes can spye your crafty lyes. | |||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶But syr I praye you, yf you tell can | ||||
Declare to me when god made man | ||||
I meane by our forefather Adam | ||||
125 | Whyther that he had a berde than | |||
And yf he had who dyd hym shaue | ||||
Syth that a barber, he coulde not haue | ||||
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Well then ye proue hym there a knaue | ||||
Bycause his berde, he dyd so saue. | ||||
130 | I fere it not. | |||
¶ Christ and his apostles, ye haue declaryd | ||||
That theyr berdes myght not be sparyd | ||||
Nor to theyr berdes, no berdes comparyd | ||||
Trewe it is, yet we repayryd | ||||
135 | By his vocacion, to folowe in generall | |||
His disciples, both great and small | ||||
And folowyng ther vse we shuld not fal | ||||
Nothynge exceptynge our berdes at all | ||||
I fere it not, | ||||
140 | ¶ Sampson with many thousandes more | |||
Of auncient phylosophers, full great store | ||||
Wolde not be shauen, to dye therfore | ||||
Why shulde you then, repyne so sore | ||||
Amyt that men doth Imytate amyt: see OED s.v. admit | ||||
145 | Thynges of antyquite, and noble state | |||
Such counterfeat thinges oftymes do mytygate | ||||
Moche ernest yre, and debate. | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶Therfore to cease, I thynke be best | ||||
150 | For berdyd men, wolde lyue in rest | |||
You proue your-selfe, a homly gest | ||||
So folysshely, to rayle and iest | ||||
For if I wolde go make in ryme | ||||
sig: [B4] | ||||
Howe new-shauyd men, loke lyke scraped swyne | ||||
155 | and so rayle forth, from tyme to tyme | |||
A knauysshe laude, then shulde be myne | ||||
I fere it not. | ||||
¶What shulde auayle, me to do so | ||||
Yf I shulde teache, howe men shulde go | ||||
160 | Thynkynge my wyt, moche better lo | |||
Then any other, frende or fo | ||||
I myght be imputed trewly | ||||
For a foole, that doth gloryfye | ||||
In my nowne selfe onelye | ||||
165 | I thynke you wyll it veryfye. | |||
I fere it not. | ||||
And thus farewel, though I do wryght | ||||
To answere for berdes, by reason ryght | ||||
Yet vnberdyd men, I do not spyght | ||||
170 | Though ye on berdes therin delyght | |||
And in concludynge, of this thynge | ||||
I praye god, saue our noble kynge | ||||
Berdes and vnberdyd, to heuen vs brynge | ||||
Where-as is Ioye euerlastynge. | ||||
175 | I fere it not. etc. | |||
¶ Finis. sig:
[B4v] |
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BArnes I say yf thou be shent | ||||
Bycause thou wantyst eloquence | ||||
Desyre them that thyne entent | ||||
May stonde all tymes for thy defence | ||||
5 | Consyderynge that thy hole pretence | |||
Was more desyrous of vnyte | ||||
Then to enuent curyosyte. | ||||
R_W | ||||
¶ Ad imprimendum solum. |