Johan Splynter's Testament

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¶Here begynneth a mery gest and / a true howe Iohan_splynter Made his testament.

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THe more subtyler disceyuer.

Or better understander

The moste craftyest clerke.

Of defraude most exper[t]e. experte] experre 1520

Or moste practycyan of subtell engyne.

All at the last they cowde come to declyne.

And dayly deceyued bothe somer and wynter

Example of waters son Iohan_splynter

Whiche at Delft in holonde verament.

Ryght worschypfully dyd make his testament.

Yet was he a man of smale reputacyon

As ye haue herde of in any regyon.

This Iohan_splynter as euery man tell can.

Was the Rentgatherer of delft and Sceydam.

Of .ii. Nonryes the soth to say.

Whyche he truly serued many a day.

To them he was true and diligent.

But to his owne auantage he neuer toke rent.

Tyl his age was come his youthe past and gone.

For pouertye wofull was his mone.

Full fayne in ease than wolde he haue lyued

But euery man tha[t] hym refused. that] than 1520

As he that is [in] age or pouertye. in] 1520 omits

On hym full fewe men haue petye.

The holyer nonry the more it ought be commended.

He that doth to them brynge is euer welcomed

And yf he nought brynge: nought shal he fynde

But had in dysdeyne and clene out of mynde

Thus haue these .ii. nonryes splynter disceyued

Whiche [m]a[n]y a day he sore be_wayled. many] nauy 1520

That all the true seruyce that he hath done.

Was vtterly lost rewarde had he none

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But as he sat musynge alone.

A maruelous influence into his hede come.

He mused a crafty wyle in his mynde.

To rewarde the nunnes of that were so vnkynde

He seynge hym-self in age and pouertye.

Thought suerly to fynde a remedye.

Than shortly to Antwerpe dyd he hym [h]ye. hye] sye 1520

There to auenture some marchaundyse to bye

He made hym redy and thyder wente.

Fyue or .vi. crownes he had of payment

There-wythall a stronge chest he bought.

With .iii. sure lockes theron well wrought.

Than dyde he bye the same day.

Seuen houndred counters therin to lay.

and came agayne to Scedam with gode entent

As welcome to them as the fyrst day of lent

Whiche before had ben worshypfully receyued

They gaue hym to drynke sowre bere vnfeyned

At hym the nunnes had great e[n]uye. enuye] euye 1520

Fast to his bed they bad hym hye.

He sayde madaymes lucy and margarete.

Brynge me a candell longe and great.

I haue brought from antwerpe a certayne thynge

Wherof this nyght I must make rekenynge

They brought hym a candell that was nat small

And shyt hym in the chamber ther-withal.

Than opened he his cofer in hast.

And on table the counters cast.

Ther to tell and reken fast he began.

And shoke and rombled then lyke a besy man

He sayde syx hundred gyldynges rounde.

Maketh euen an hundred pounde.

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And other thyrty renysshe gyldynges lay I here

That maketh iust .v. li. of rekenyng clare. li.: =pounds

Herde neuer man of suche a wyle in no boke.

In at an hole a Nun dyd loke

She sawe this money and herde the sounde.

Than ran she to the abbesse rounde.

Madame come to splenters chamber with me

What monay he hath there may ye se.

The abbes in at the hole dyd loke.

And sawe howe he his bagges shoke.

And lyghtly into his cofre them cast.

As yf no man therof had wyst.

And put out his ca[n]dell and to bed went.

The abbesse knewe full lytell what he ment.

Erly on the mornynge he rose and wolde be gone.

The nunes en[t]reted mayster rentgatherer echone entreted] encreted 1520; rentgatherer] renthgatherer 1520

and prayed hym to byde and he shuld haue gode chere

He shulde nat lake ale wyne nor bere.

They prayed hym to abyde yonge and olde.

But at delf he was brought up and thyder he wolde

For there he was norysshed of yonge.

And theder he wolde his lyfe to prolonge.

To delft he wolde: and prayed the abbesse.

Surely to kepe his chest with rychesse.

And charged hyr wyth [it] full straytly. it] 1520 omits

But the key with hym kept he.

Whan the abbesse of Delft this herde.

By the nunes of scedam that went thyder-warde

That Iohan_splynter was so ryche in-dede.

They made hym gode chere in hope of theyr mede

Grete was the stryfe bytwene them twayne

In whiche of these .ii. abbayes he shold remayne

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They of delft sayde they had most ryght.

To haue Iohan_splynter if they myght

For there was he norysshed in-dede.

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They sent for the cofer in greate spede

At Delft Iohan_splynter dwelled dowtles.

The abbesse had and kept his chest with ryches

So there he dwelled many a yere.

Bothe erly and late they made hym gode chere.

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They gaue hym rayment of the best.

And all in trust to haue his chest.

Nowe late vs speke of his testament.

Hys executours were ryght suffycyent.

And of habylyte and substance.

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And it had ben for a kynges fynaunce.

But in heuen be he crowned on hye.

That a dysceyuer dysceyueth ryght wysely.

Mayster mathewe notary and in lawe lycencyat

To be one of his executours hath vndertake.

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With other two abbottes with gode entent.

These were executours of splynters testament

Bytwene these .ii. abbayes this rychesse to deuyde

Eche of them bothe a key dyd prouyde.

So that whan his beryals were done.

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This money shulde be brought forthe ryght sone

And bytwene these .ii abba[y]es egally deuyded abbayes] abbanes 1520

As reyson wolde thus they hym aduysed.

Than came deth that taketh all.

Olde and yonge great and small.

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And toke from Iohan_splynter his lyfe truly.

Whiche was beryed full rychely.

Wyth Dirige and seruyce accordynge

Wyth torches and blacke gownes therto belongynge

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Whan the obsequyes and dirige was done.

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His executours assembled ryght sone.

A worschypful dyner they caused to be made

Than eche of them to other sayde.

It is best or we this money deuyde.

To sende for the prouoste of Haghe here-besyde

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Or we vnlocke or meddyll with this chest

For fere of charge that they myght to vs cast.

They sent for hym: and nowe is he come.

A blacke gowne he hoped to haue wonne

The cofer was sent for by and by.

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The keyes were brought thyder all thre.

Whan they began to open this chest.

The on durst nat the other trust.

For they snatched for the monye there.

Lyke a fysshe that out of the water were.

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But they[r] great ioy and couetous desyre. theyr] they 1520

Was lyghtly tourned as ye shall here.

They sat to_gyder vpon on syde.

A crosse ouer the chest they made that tyde.

In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti

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That sayde mayster mathewe notary.

Than answered the prouost.

Amen: with a mery Iest:

Than into the chest his hande he hent.

Than spake the notary with euyll entent.

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Holde out thy hande I tell the this.

Sub pena maloris excommunicationis

A purs they had bothe great and wyde

And cast this money on the table that tyde.

The Notary had his spectacles on.

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Here is a gode syght of golde by saynt Iohnn .

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The prouost was a man dyd vnderstande.

And of this golde he toke in his hande.

He sayde this golde is of suche excellence.

A man may bye an hundred pyeces for thre pens

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They blessyd them all that there dyd stande.

They sawe neuer suche a maruayle in holande

And specyally of men that were so wyse and subtyll

They loked eche on other and kept them styll

A rebuke to them it was I_was. I_was: =iwys

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As yf they had kepte shepe all theyr dayes

It was to them a great rebuke no dout.

To thynke that suche a man shulde brynge about

As Iohan_splynter to haue so great ryches.

Of this whyle they were full wo doutles. whyle: =wile

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Than by other eche other wolde compell.

This to [kepe] in counsel and no forther to tell. kepe] kepte 1520

The prouost sayd so mot I the.

That shall ye neuer make me.

For it is worthy in cronycles to be done.

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Nowe herken to my conclusyon.

All they that serue lordes and ladyes.

Remember age wyll come it wyll nat mys.

Therfore spare and kepe money in thy purs

And than of gode chere thou shalt nat mys.

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and though Iohan_splynter this fortune had that tyde

A thousande other may go besyde.

Or they suche a wyle myght fynde.

Nowe god euer is mannys frende.

Graunt hym the blysse of heuen to haue.

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That a couetous man can dysceyue.

FINIS ¶Explicit testamentum Johannis_splynter.

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¶Emprynted at London In Poules chyrch-yarde By m[e]me] my 1520 Iulyan_Notary dwellynge at the sygne of the .iii kynges.