The Milner of Abington [and] A Merry Jest, How a Sergeaunt Would Learn to be a Friar

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¶A ryght pleasaunt and merye Historie, of the Mylner of Abyngton, with his Wife, and his fayre Daughter: and of two poore scholers of Cambridge.

Wherevnto is adioyned another merye Iest, of a Sargeaunt that woulde haue learned to be a Fryar.

Imprinted at London, by Rycharde_Ihones.

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A verie merie Historie, of the Milner of Abington,

FAyre Lordings if you list to heere

A mery Iest your mindes to cheere,

Then harken to this mery tale

Was neuer meryer set to sale

At Abyngton it so befell

Therby a widowe late did dwell

She had two sonnes that she loued well

For father had they none

At Cambrige are they set I wene

Fiue mile is them bytwene

Their spendinge was full mene,

To the scole there did they go

Some learning for to get you knowe

By good mens helpe they were kept so

Other finding none they had

This life longe they ledde

The mother founde them at borde and bedde

And by these meanes were they fedde

More than seuen yere

Their mother then vpon a daie

To Cambrid[g]e she toke the waie Cambridge] Cambridhe 1575

And to hir sonnes gan she saie

With a heuy chere

Sonnes I will be here anone

And than I wot ye will come home

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But corne nor bread can I get none,

The countrey is so deere.

Mother then they sayd anone

We wyll into the countrey gone

To good-men and make our mone

If wee may any-thinge get,

So longe they went from towne to towne

In the countrey vp and downe

That they gate in short season

A large met of wheate

Than anone when they it had

Unto their mother they it lad

And she therof was full glad

But longe they ne let

But at their neyghbours house on the morne

They borowed a horse to cary their corne

To the mille them beforne

For nothing wolde they let

The mylner was ioly in his workes all

He had a doughter fayre and small

The clerke of the towne loued her aboue all

Iankyn was his name

The mylner was so trewe and fele

Of each mannes corne wolde he steale

More than his Toledish by a deale

He let for no shame

He was so subtyll and so slye

He wolde it take before their eye

And make them a proper lye

And put himselfe out of blame:

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To the mylner they were sande

In the mylle-dore dyd he stande

They tied their horse with a bande

They had harde of his name

That one clerke to that other sware

Of the theefe we wyll beware

Haue he neuer so mykell care

Of our corne getteth he but small

Though he go out of his wyt

Thou shalte by the spoute syt

Tyll the poke faste be knyt

And the meale in all

Though he be neuer so wo

And I wyl vp vnto the stones go

And he begyle vs bothe two

Foule might him befall:

The corne vp the Milner wan

And than the clerke fast vp ran

By the stones styll stode he than

Tyll it was grounde in[t]ere intere] infere 1575

The mylners house is nere

Not the length of a lande

In a valey can it stande

Two myle from Abyngton

In his herte had he care

For the clerkes were so ware

He myght not do as he dyd are

But to his sonne gan ronne

Boy loke thou let for no drede

The clerkes horse home thou lede

Also faste as thou may spede

Or the meale be done

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Behinde my backhouse dore him set backhouse: =back-house, 'subsidiary building', or perhaps bakehouse

For they shall fayle of their me[t] met] men 1575met ='measure'

Tho the poke fast be knet

I sweare by my crowne

The litell boye stint nought

Till the horse was home brought

Thereof wiste the clerkes nought

Forsothe as I you saie

The clerkes their meale vp hent

And out at the dore they went

Alas they said we be shent

The rhyme-scheme suggests that a line has dropped out here.

By god than the milner sware

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Than get you him no mare

For some theefe was of him ware

And hath had him away

The one clerke sayd to the other

Go we seke hym-selfe brother

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Thou one way and I another

Finde him if we maie,

But euer they drede of the meale

That the milner wolde therof steale

The poke they bounde, and set on a seale

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And their horse than sought they.

The mylner laughed them to scorne

And great othes hath he sworne

If he might haue none of their corne

He wolde haue of their meale,

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His daughter to the mille can fare

And his diner to him bare

And also faste he tolde hir yare

All euery-deale:

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How two clerkes in the morne

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Brought with them a met of corne

And euer they warned mee beforne

That I shoulde none steale

But do now doughter as I thee saie

Go fet mee a shete I the pray

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And in faithe I will do saie do saie: perhaps an error for 'not do waie'

To get of the meale

For nothinge wolde let

On a whyte shete he it set

And moche floure he out bet

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And hole was the seale

With two staues in the stoure stoure ='tumult, commotion', or perhaps 'flying dust'; see OED s.v. stour n1, 4, 5

They dange theron whyles they myght doure doure: =dure

Till they had a pecke of floure

Forsothe as I you say

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They gathered it vp than anone

And put it in a poke full soone

And bade his daughter beare it home

Euen the ryght way

Then the clerkes had mykell thought

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For their horse they sought

That they him finde might nought

Of all that longe day

And whan the night drewe nere

At the mylle they met in fere

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And bothe they made a simple chere

For their goodly hackeny

That one clerke sayd by god of might

Me-thinke our poke is waxen light

I thinke it be not all a_ryght

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That lyketh me full yll

My heed therto dare I lay

That he hath stolen some away

That other clarke sayd nay nay,

The seale standeth on styl:

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They both did to the milner say

Herberowe vs to_night we thee pray

And we wyll therfore well pay

What-so-euer thou wyll

For we dare not to the towne gone

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Tyll we bring our horse home

If we do by swete saynte Iohn

We mon like it yll

The mylner sayd by goddes might

I shall [h]arborowe you to_night harborowe] barborowe 1575

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And your supper shall be dight

Right well if wee may

There they bare their meale bitwene them two

And home with the mylner dyd they go

His wife welcomed them tho

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So dyd his doughter gay

Aboute a fyre they were set

And good ale was there fet

And therwith they their mouthes wet

And soone souped they

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At their supper as they made them glad

That one clerke nyce countenaunce made

And priuely on the maidens foote he treade

And she tourned awaie

Whan they had eaten and made them glad

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The Milner his daughter bade

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Soone that a bed were made

Also fast as you maie,

And make it by the side-binke side-binke ='sideboard'; see OED s.v. bink n, 3

That the clarkes may therein winke

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And slepe till it be daie:

For I will to my bedde win

And if you here any din

It is my man dothe come in

Forsothe as I you saie,

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For he is in the towne at his warke

Whan he dothe come in the hounde will bark

This ment the milner by the clarke

That helde his daughter gay

By one side the clarke lay

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By the other side his wife and he I saie

And for his doughter so gay

An-other bedde was dyght,

In a chamber as I weene

Was a wall them betweene

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And a cake she made so clene

Thereof the clarkes had a sight:

Of their owne meale it was

Hir lemman befell suche a case

Herken sirs howe it was

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That he might not come that night,

For to a faire was there beside

On his maisters erande for to ride

Erly in the morowe-tide

Before any day-light

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This one clarke styll he lay

And thought on this Damsell gay

And to his brother can he saie

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What is mee best to do,

For by god and by saint Mighell

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I thinke so on the damosell

I had muche leuer than I can tell

That I might winne hir to:

His brother said this is nought

Of my horse I haue more thought

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By Iesu that mee deere bought

Howe we maie winne him to.

Yet lie stil brother I the praie

For come there what come maie

At the dore I will assaie

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If it will vndoe,

This one clarke to the dore can fare can: =gan

She said Iankin be ye there

Ye forsothe he did answere

And in there did he go,

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Against a fourme he hurte his shin

Or he might to the bedde win

Therfore the clarke was wo.

Iankin she said for Mary dere

Whie do ye make such cheere

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Your way shoulde you better leere

So oft as you come heere

At that worde the clarke loughe

And by the voice to her he drough

Of her he had his will ynough

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And plaide them togyther,

Whan the clarke had done his will

By the damosell he lay full stil

And belyue she said him til

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How two clarkes came thyther,

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Upon the monday at morne

And brought with them a met of corne of] of of 1575

On a horse them beforne

And bothe they were full lither.

For the one clarke stode at the spoute

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There-as the meale shoulde come out

That other went euer aboute

And let vs of our pray,

My father did see it might be none other

He rowned vnto my brother

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And bade it shoulde be none other

But lede their horse away.

My litell brother blinned nought

Ere their horse was home brought

Like two fooles they haue him sought

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All this longe daie,

As we at our supper sate

That one clarke nice countenaunce made

And priuelie on my foote he trade

But euer I tourned awaie.

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Upon the poke he set the seale

For my father shoulde none steale

Yet we had of their meale

And of their whitest floure,

For nothinge wolde he let

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On a shete we it set

And with two staues it bet

As longe as we might doure.

And into our backhouse their horse is brought

Therof wotte the clerkes nought

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The clarke laught and made good cheere

Whan he of that myght heare

That was well done my derling deere,

By God my sauiour:

Both together a_sleepe they fell,

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Of the other clarke I wyll you tell

And of the Milners wife howe it befell

A whyle if you will abide,

All waking styl he laye

And in his heart he thought aye

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My felowe hath a merie plaie

In this euen-tide.

The Mylners wife did rise water to make

Stilly for the milner should not wake

The right way againe could she not take,

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For the house was so wide.

But a childe in a cradell laie

At the beddes feete as I you saie

Thereby she knew the right waye

Unto hir beddes-side,

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The clarke laie and harde ylke dele

And of the cradell he wyst well

And if thou rise by saint Michaell

The cradell shal a_waie:

Againe he rose or she did sleepe

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The clarke thereof tooke good keepe

Out of his bedde soone he can creepe

As fast as euer he maie.

For nothing woulde he let

The cradell away he fet

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At his beddes-side he it set,

Forsothe as I you saye,

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The good-wife came anone

And tyll her husbande can she gone

But cradell founde she there none,

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Shee did seeke full fast alwaie.

All about she groped fast

The cradell founde shee at the last

The Milner did sleepe full fast

And wist not of this warke,

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By the cradell that she there fande,

She had went it had bene hir husbande went: =wened

She lyft vp the clothes with her hande

And laide her downe by the clarke,

Thus that one clarke laye by the wife

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That other by the daughter by my life

Had the milner wist there had ben strife

For that nights warke,

That one clarke waked and he dyd say

That by the Milners daughter lay

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I must to a faire gone or it be day,

And on he did his sarke.

Now I pray you my [k]inde Lemman free kinde] hinde 1575

A gowne-cloath then buie you mee

And I sweare so mote I thee,

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I wyll paye therefore:

By Iesu he saide my sweeting

I haue but three shylling

That is but a lyttle thing

But if I had more,

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Thus the clarke he made it towe made it towe: =made it tough, 'showed reluctance' or perhaps 'was persistent'; see OED s.v. tough adj., 8

The Damsell her forcer to her drawe forcer ='chest, coffer'

By God ye shall haue mowe

For to paie therefore.

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The key by the cofer did hange

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Forthe she drewe thirty shillinge

Forsothe euery farthinge

And neither lesse nor more.

The thirtie shillinge she gan him take

This made I sir for your sake

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Take it nowe with you all,

Nowe haue good-day mine owne swetinge

For longe or any day dothe springe

The cocke full merelie his note will singe

And my maister will mee call

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Full merie chere the clarke can make

With thirty shillinge and his cake

The righte waie can he take

Downe by the wall,

Till he came at his brothers bedde

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Than from the cradell away he yedde

And anone away he fledde

On the further side of the hall:

Of his siluer he toke good keepe

Downe by the milner can he creepe

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And wakened him out of his sleepe

And said wilte thou heare a good game,

For I haue had a merie night

With the milners daughter bright

Mee liketh wel by gods might

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That we wende not home,

For I haue thirty shillinge and a cake

That the false theefe fro our corne did take

With that the milner did wake

By god and by saint Ihon,

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And also she hath mee tolde

Howe he hath our horse in holde

In his backhouse he hath him bolde

I praie god giue him shame

The milner starte vp redely

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Thou liest he said with great enuy

And that shalte thou full dere abye

Theefe what hast thou done,

He sterte vp in a great teene

And stoute strokes was them betweene

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The milner was the more keene

And gate the clarke downe.

His wife waked anone-right

Out sir she said the clerkes do fight

The one will slee the other to_night

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But if you parte them soone.

The clarke wakened and had great wonder

But he durste them not sunder

Full well he sawe his felowe vnder

By the light of the moone.

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The milners wife hent a staffe tite

Sir she said who shall I smite

Dame sayde the clarke, him in the white

Hit him if thou maie,

The milner befel a foule happe

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He had on his night-cappe

His wife lent him suche a rappe

That stil on grounde he laie.

Thus the milners heed was broken

The backhouse faste was stoken stoken ='locked up'; see OED s.v. steek v1

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Beleeue mee the clarkes braste it open

And in than went they,

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The meale on the horse they caste

And awaye they hyed them faste

With all their things home they paste

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Long or any day.

Forth they went by Moone-light,

To Abington they came right

Before it was day-light

Home vnto their Dame,

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Than was her heart full light

Whan she sawe her sonne in sight

She thanked God with all her might

That they were comen home,

All their meale and thirtie shylling

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They gaue their mother without leasing

And sence they tolde her of that thing

They let for no blame,

Their mother saide if ye doo right

Keepe ye well out of his sight

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For if he may get you by goddes might

He wyll doo you shame.

Of that siluer the clarkes were faine

The one clarke hied with all his maine

And ledde their horse home againe

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Uppon the same morne,

The mother them a Capon slew

And of the cake they eate inowe

And soone to Cambridge they drew,

There-as they were beforne

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Twentie shylling with them they bare

Unto the schole gan they fare

The Mylner gate of them no mare,

If he had it sworne.

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Whan they were gone these scollers bothe

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I tell you plaine this milner was lothe

And to his bedde againe he gothe

For he was full of paine,

His wife before had giuen him

Vengeable strypes by swete saint Sim

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She had almoste broken bothe lithe and lim

Of the Milner I tell you plaine.

And so the milner and his wife

For this folishe deede they had great strife

All the daies of their life

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That he had ben so mad,

And the daughter that was yonge

Did often singe a sory songe

And wisshed for the clarke that was so longe

With her gowne-clothe to make her glad.

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And also for his mery play

She longed for him full sore in fay

That he should come againe that waie

Though she should neuer the clothe see,

The wenche she was full proper and nyce

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Amonge all other she bare great price

For she coude tricke it point deuice

But fewe like her in that countree.

At the last the milner vntrewe

That had ben beaten bothe blacke and blewe

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His owne deede he gan to rewe

And though he had ben false,

For many a trewer than he

Was iudged without pite

Upon a dreadfull gallowe-tree

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To be hanged by the halse

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But sore sicke in his bedde

All his life he ledde

That he was faine to be fedde

Of his wife withouten mis

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Thus with shorte conclusion

This milner through his abusion

Was brought to confusion

For all his falsehed iwis

And ended his life full wretchedly

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In paine, care, and misery

Wherfore he did beare an horne

For steeling of meale this onlie

His wife and his doughter were laine by

Of two poore scolers full merely

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That oft did laugh him to scorne

In pacience he must take it al

In chamber, in bowre, and eke in hall

What-so-euer the folke than did him call

Contented muste he be:

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Thus endeth this mery iest iwis

And Christ that is kinge of eternall blis

Bringe vs all there whan his will is,

Amen for charite.

FINIS.

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A mery gest, howe a Sergeaunt woulde learne to be a Friar.

WIse men alway, affirme and saye,

The best is for eche man,

Dilligently, for to apply,

Such busines as he can.

And in no wise, to enterprise,

Another faculte:

For he that will, and can no skill,

Is neuer like to thee. thee: =thee, 'thrive'

He that hath left, the hosiers crafte,

And fall to makinge shone.

The smith that shall, to painting fall,

His thrifte is well-nigh done.

A blacke draper, with white paper.

To go to writing-scole.

An olde butteler, becoming a cutteler,

I wene shall proue a fole.

An olde trotte, that can (God wotte,)

Nothinge but kis the cup.

With hir phisicke, will keepe one sicke,

Till she haue sowsed him vp. sowsed ... vp ='brought to extremities'? See OED s.v. souse v1, 4

A man of lawe, that neuer sawe,

The waies to buie and sell.

Weninge to arise, by marchaundyse,

I praye God speede him well.

A marchaunt eke that will go seke,

All the meanes he may.

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To fall in sute, tyll he dispute,

His money cleane away.

Pleading the lawe, for euery strawe,

Shall proue a thriftie man.

With hate and strife but by my life,

I can nat tell you whan

Whan an hatter, wil go smatter,

In phylosophie.

Or a pedler, ware a medlar,

In theologye.

All that ensewe, suche craftes newe,

They driue so farre a cast.

That euermore, they do therefore,

Beshrewe themselfe at last.

This thinge was tried and, verefied,

Here by a sergeaunt late.

That rufully was, or he coulde pas,

Rapped about the pate.

While that he woulde, see how he could,

In Gods name plaie the friar.

Now if ye wyl, know how it fyl,

Take heede and ye shall heare.

It happed so, not long agoe,

A thriftie man there dide.

An hundred pound of nobles round,

Than had he laide a_side.

His sonne he would, should haue this gold

For to beginne withall.

But to suffise, his child wel thryues,

That money were to small.

Yet or this day, I haue herde say,

That many a man certesse,

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Hath with good cast, be ritche at the last,

That begonne with lesse.

But this yong-man, so well he can,

His money to imploye.

That certainly, his polecie,

To see it was a ioye.

For least some blast might ouercast,

His shippe or by mischaunce.

Men with some wyle, might him beguile,

And minishe his substaunce.

For to put out, al maner dout,

He made a good puruaie.

For euery whit, by his owne wit,

And tooke another waie.

First faire and wele, a pretie deale,

He hyd it in a potte.

But than him thought, that way was nought

And there he left it not.

So was he faine, from thence againe,

To put it in a cuppe.

And by and by, as couetouslie,

He supped it faire vppe.

In his owne brest, he thought it best,

His money to inclose,

Then wyst he well, what-euer fell,

He coulde it neuer lose.

He borrowed than, of another man,

Money and marchaundice:

Neuer paide it, vp he laide it.

In lyke maner wyse.

Yet on the geare, that he would weare,

He raught not what he spent:

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So it were nice, as for the price.

Coulde him not myscontent.

With lustie sporte, and with resorte.

Of ioly company.

In mirth and plaie, full many a daie,

He liued merily.

And men had sworne, some man is borne,

To dignite and powre.

And so was he, for suche degree,

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He gate and suche honowre,

That without doubte, whan he went out,

A sergeaunt well and faire.

Was readie straight, on him to waight,

As sone as on the maire,

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But he doutlesse, of his mekenes,

Hated suche pompe and pride.

And would not go, accompanied so,

But drewe himselfe aside.

To saint Katherine, straight as a line,

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He gate him at a tide

For promotion, or deuotion,

There would he needes bide.

There spent he fast, tyll all was past,

And to him came there manie.

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To aske their dette, but none coulde gette,

The valour of a penie.

With visage stoute, he bare it out,

Vnto the harde hedge, hedge: =edge

A moneth or twaine till he was faine,

120

To lay his gowne to pledge,

Than was he there, in greater feare,

Than or that he came thither.

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And would as faine, depart againe,

But that he wist not whither.

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Than after this, to a frende of his.

He went and there abode.

Where-as he laie, so sicke alwaie,

He might not come abrode.

It happed than, a marchaunt-man

130

That he ought money to,

Of an officer, that gan enquire,

What him was best to do.

And he aunswerd, be not a_ferde,

Take an action therfore,

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I you behest, I shall him rest, rest ='arrest'; see OED s.v. rest v3

And than care for no more.

I feare quod he, it will not be,

For he will not come out.

The sergeaunt said, be not afraide,

140

It shall be brought about,

In many a game, like to the same,

Haue I bene well in vre,

And for your sake, let mee be bake, bake: =baked?

But if I do this cure.

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Thus parte they bothe, and to him goth,

A_pace this officer,

And for a daie, all his araie,

He chaunged with a frier.

So was he dight, that no man might,

150

Him for a frier denie.

He dopped and douked, he spake and loked, dopped and douked ='bobbed and bowed'

So religiouslie.

Yet in a glasse, or he would passe,

He toted and he pored. toted ='peered, gazed'; see OED s.vv. toot v1, 2, tout v1, 1

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155

His heart for pride, lept in his side,

To see howe well he fryred.

Then forth a_pace, vnto the place,

He goeth in Gods name:

To doo this deede, but nowe take heede,

160

For heere beginneth the game.

He drew him nie, and then softlie,

At the doore he knocked.

A Damsell, that heard him wel,

There came and it vnlocked.

165

The fryar sayd, God speede fayre mayde,

Heere lodgeth such a man:

It is tolde mee, well sir quoth she,

And if he do? what than?

Quod he, maistresse, no harme doutlesse,

170

It longeth for our order.

To hurt no man, but as we can,

Euery wyght to forder.

With him truely, faine speake would I,

Syr quod she, by my faye:

175

He is so sicke, yee be not lyke,

To speake with him to_daye.

Quoth he fayre maye, yet I you pray,

Thus much at my desyer:

Vouchsafe to doo, as goe him too,

180

And saye an Austen Fryar,

Woulde with him speake, & maters breake,

For his auayle certaine.

Quod shee I wyl, stand ye heer styll,

Tyll I come downe againe.

185

Vppe is shee goe, and tolde him so:

As shee was bode to saye.

sig: [C5]

He mistrustinge, no maner thinge,

Said mayden go thy waie.

And fetche him hither, that we to_gither:

190

May talke a_downe she goth,

And vp him brought, no harme she thought,

But it made some folke wroth.

But this officer, this fained frier,

Whan he was come a_lofte,

195

He dopped than, and greet this man,

Religiously and ofte.

And he againe, right glad and faine,

Tooke him there by the hande:

The friere than said, ye be dismaide,

200

With trouble I vnderstande.

In-deede quod he, it hath with me,

Bene better than it is.

Sir quod the frier, bee of good chere,

Ye shall yet after this.

205

For christes sake, loke that ye take,

No thought into your brest,

God maie tourne all, and so he shall,

I trust vnto the best.

But I woulde nowe, comyn with you,

210

In counsaile if you please,

Or elles not[e], of maters that, note] not 1575

Shall set your heart at ease.

Downe went the maide, the marchaunt said

Nowe saye on gentill frier,

215

Of this tidinge, that ye me bringe,

I long full sore to heare.

Whan there was none, but they alone,

The frier with euell grace,

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Said I rest thee, come on with mee.

220

And out he toke his mace:

Thou shalte obey, come on thy way,

I haue thee in my clouche,

Thou goest not hence, for all the pence,

The mayre hath in his pouche.

225

This marchaunt there, for wrath and feare,

Waxinge well-nighe wood:

Saide horeson thefe, with a verie mischefe,

Who hath taught thee thy good?

And with his fist, vpon the list.

230

He gaue him suche a blowe,

That backewarde downe, almoste in swoune,

The frier is ouerthrowe.

Yet was this man, well fearder than,

Lest he the frier had slaine:

235

Till with good rappes, and heuy clappes,

He dawed him vp againe.

The frier toke heart, and vp he starte,

And well he laide aboute,

And so there gothe, bytwene them bothe,

240

Many a lusty cloute.

They rent and tere, eche other heer,

And claue togider fast:

Till with lugginge, halinge and tugginge,

They fell downe bothe at last.

245

Than on the grounde, to_gether rounde,

With many a heuy stroke.

They roule and romble, they turne and tumble,

Lyke pygges do in a poke.

So long aboue, they heaue and shoue,

250

Togither that at the last,

sig: [C6]

The maide and the wife, to breake the strife,

Hied them vpwarde fast.

And whan they see, the captaines lye, captaines ='principals, protagonists'?

Waltringe in the place,

255

The friers hood, they pulled a_good,

A_downe about his face.

While he was blinde, the wenche behinde,

Lent him on the flore.

Many a iole, about the nole, iole ='blow'; see OED s.v. jowl n4

260

With a great battill-dore.

The wife came to it, and with her feete,

She holpe to kepe him downe:

And with her rocke, many a knocke, rocke ='distaff'

She gaue him on the crowne.

265

They laide his mace, about his face,

That he was wode for paine,

The frier frap, gate many a swap, frap ='debauched, libertine', a contracted form of frapart, known only in the phrase friar frapart; see OED s.v. frapart adj.

Till he was well-nighe slaine.

Vp they him lifte, and with euell thrifte,

270

Hedlong all the staire:

Downe they him threwe, and said adewe,

Recommaunde vs to the mayre.

The frier arose, but I suppose,

Amased was his hedde:

275

He shoke his heres, and from great feres,

He thought him well a_fledde.

Quod he nowe lost is all this cost,

We be neuer the nere:

Ill mot he thee, that caused mee,

280

To make my-selfe a frier.

Nowe maisters all, an ende I shall,

Make there-as I began.

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In any wise, I wolde auyse,

And councell euery man.

285

His owne crafte vse, all newe refuse,

And vtterlye let them gone.

Playe not the frier, now make good cheere,

And welcome euerychone.

FINIS.