Title-page wanting, sig. A1-A1v
Philogamus
The Prayse of the Meter.
*The prayse of the Poete.
A Latten Clubbe, or Hurle-Batte.
O UOS Insensati
ECQUID UOS BEO?
FINIS:
| sig: A2 | ||
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Title-page wanting, sig. A1-A1v
Philogamus
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| Gyue place ye Poetes fine | ||
| Bow doune now and encline | ||
| For nowe the Muses nyne | ||
| So Sacred and Diuine | ||
| 5 | In Parnase holy Hyll | |
| Haue wrought theyr worthy wyll | ||
| And by theyr goodly skyll | ||
| Uppon that myghty Mountayne | ||
| In Hellycons Fountayne | ||
| 10 | (That alwayes doth remayne | |
| Synce Pegase made it flowe | ||
| As by your bokes we knowe) | ||
| Haue washed the lyppes of one | ||
| That slepte not longe agone | ||
| 15 | That forked Hyll vpon | |
| Who after that anon | ||
| As he had sene the muses | ||
| Newe Poetry he vses | ||
| And yours he cleane refuses. | ||
| sig: [A2v] | ||
| 20 | For wakyng sodenly | |
| He wrote ryght wortheily | ||
| Suche kynde of Poetrye | ||
| As neuer one of you | ||
| Had hearde or sene tyl nowe | ||
| 25 | He wrote I tel you playne | |
| An Antygraphe full mayne | ||
| None suche on thys syde Spayne | ||
| Antipus to suppresse | ||
| And clerly to compesse | ||
| 30 | Wherein he fayneth no lesse | |
| But that yf God were dead | ||
| He myght be raysed in Bread | ||
| Wherfore ye Poetes al | ||
| And clarkes bothe greate and smal | ||
| 35 | Submyt your-selues ye shal | |
| And downe before hym fall | ||
| And neuer not to ryse | ||
| For you cowlde not deuyse | ||
| So greate an interpryse | ||
| 40 | As thys new poet dyd | |
| Whose connyng is yet hyd | ||
| And many other workes | ||
| sig: A3 | ||
| That secretly yet lurckes | ||
| None suche amonge the Turkes | ||
| 45 | Nor Saracens can be founde | |
| The Gospellers to confounde. | ||
| Hys workes are so well bownd | ||
| And buylded on suche grounde | ||
| As cannot wel decay | ||
| 50 | Tyl the sande be washed away. | |
| He is skylled so wonderously | ||
| In the scyence of Masonrye. | ||
| Wherfore I wyl not spare | ||
| Hys learnyng to declare | ||
| 55 | Although wyth myckle care | |
| Because I want the wayes | ||
| Thys Poete for to prayse | ||
| And fame vpon hym rayse | ||
| That floweth in these dayes, | ||
| 60 | Wythe suche exceadynge Eloquence | |
| And Superfluous Sapyence | ||
| Imbute w[yt]h Insuffycyence wyth] wtyh 1548 | ||
| Of learnyng and Intellygence | ||
| Whose wrytynges are laudable | ||
| 65 | So new-founde and not able | |
| sig: [A3v] | ||
| I tell you wythout fable | ||
| That no man vnder skye | ||
| Can prayse them worthely | ||
| They shewe them-selues so fayer | ||
| 70 | That none can them appayer | |
| And therfore now beholde | ||
| And see how well he coulde | ||
| Describe them that are bolde | ||
| To marry beyng sworne | ||
| 75 | To kepe them chast beforne | |
| Makyng theyr vow a scorne | ||
| And takyng to them wyues, | ||
| Wyth them to leade theyr lyues | ||
| But wyth these blooddes he stryues | ||
| 80 | And out of towne them dryues | |
| Wyth eloquent taxacions | ||
| And vyolent vexacyons | ||
| And earneste exprobracyons | ||
| Wythe instant insultacions | ||
| 85 | And straunge denomynacyons | |
| That none among all nacyons | ||
| Can shew suche learned fasshyons | ||
| sig: A4 | ||
| As can thys noble scholer | ||
| He may well weare a coller | ||
| 90 | Of .H. for hys humanitee | |
| And for hys greate Urbanytye | ||
| He may weare vppon hys Bonnet | ||
| A double .P. well set | ||
| And wyth a traye aboue | ||
| 95 | In tokenynge of the loue | |
| That towarde hym he beareth | ||
| Whyche men to Chastenes sweareth. | ||
| Wherfore loke vp and see | ||
| Yf ye beleue not me | ||
| 100 | Your owne Iudges to be | |
| For easely may ye spye | ||
| Yf ye looke earnestly | ||
| And well hys latten trye | ||
| That oute of Barbarye | ||
| 105 | Hys learninge he hath fett | |
| And all hys knowledge gett. | ||
| For thys I dare well Sweare | ||
| sig: [A4v] | ||
| Here can no such fyne gear | ||
| Be had but onely theare, | ||
| 110 | Aduise it well and reade | |
| For here it doth succede. | ||
| O Insensati | ||
| All marryed preistes that be Nupti | ||
| Barbis disguisati | ||
| 115 | Carnales hedos Uocati | |
| Quorum deus venter | ||
| To the belly they be bound by Indenture | ||
| Uentri semper obedire | ||
| Uulueque seruire | ||
| 120 | Quorum Sathan est Pater | |
| Et Lecheria Mater | ||
| Thys Genera Uiperarum | ||
| Runnes per Orbem Terrarum | ||
| O God omnipotent | ||
| 125 | Qui regnas et viuis | |
| Sende shame and punishement | ||
| To all Prestes and theyr wyues | ||
| And let them goo voyde of all grace | ||
| Et infernorum supplicia | ||
| 130 | Wyth Lucyfer to haue a Place | |
| In sempiterna supplicia. | ||
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The Prayse of the Meter. |
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| O meter passing measure | ||
| sig: [A5] | ||
| Prouokinge sporte and pleasure | ||
| O treatise of hygh treasure | ||
| 135 | So Typycal in fygure | |
| None suche from lyn to lygure | ||
| Lapte vp in suche fyne latyn | ||
| As passeth both syl[k]letter broken and satyn | ||
| O Homer so Heroical | ||
| 140 | And Percius Satyricall | |
| Where are your workes Poetycale | ||
| O Horace where art thou | ||
| Uyrgyll and Ouide now | ||
| And all the rest of you | ||
| 145 | Let se who dare auow | |
| One suche a worke to shew | ||
| No no, ful wel I know | ||
| Take al you on a rowe | ||
| Ye cannot do it I trow | ||
| 150 | Not one of you that wrote | |
| Suche Satyres wel I wot | ||
| Yf he your bokes had sene | ||
| He wolde haue shamed them clene | ||
| You had no Peers you wene | ||
| 155 | Because wyth lawrel grene | |
| Crowned you were by ryght | ||
| sig: [A5v] | ||
| But oure newe Poete myght | ||
| Be crowned wyth the Uyne | ||
| And Garland Canaby[n]e | ||
| 160 | For engyne and for wytt | |
| The muses dyd admytt | ||
| Not onely hym to yt | ||
| But gaue hym so muche grace | ||
| That yf he vewe the face | ||
| 165 | Of one In any place | |
| He maye make hym wyth spede | ||
| A Poete to procede. | ||
| The profe therof indede | ||
| Ful playnly dyd appere | ||
| 170 | Wythin thys halfe yere | |
| For one that was a Smytthe | ||
| A forger at the stytthe | ||
| A myghtye man of pytthe | ||
| And stronge of lym and lytthe | ||
| 175 | When he had bene hym wythe | |
| And talked but a whyle | ||
| He wrote so hygh a style | ||
| As none wythin a myle | ||
| Coulde fashyon wyth a fyle | ||
| sig: [A6] | ||
| 180 | Wyth al hys wyt and wyle, | |
| Wel wel for all ye smyle | ||
| Certes I tel you treuth | ||
| A_lack yt is greate ruth | ||
| That men wyl not beleue | ||
| 185 | The gyftes that Muses geue | |
| Besyde all thys hys Smythery | ||
| Uulcanus taught hym certanly | ||
| Wher-with he wrough[t] right curyously wrought] wroughe 1548 | ||
| As ye may se yt euydently | ||
| 190 | Conteyned in the testymony | |
| And latter wylle of Heresy. | ||
| For there He sheweth Poetry | ||
| Hyghly professyng Romery | ||
| Lo, now I say therfore | ||
| 195 | Your bokes we nede no more | |
| They maye be rent and tore | ||
| What though ye crye and rore | ||
| We nede not now your lore | ||
| For yf thys arte were drownd | ||
| 200 | Agayne it may be found | |
| Euen by the very sound | ||
| Of these new Poetes Tooles | ||
| sig: [A6v] | ||
| They be no smalle fooles, | ||
| If they be red In scholes | ||
| 205 | You may syt downe on stooles | |
| And so to take your rest | ||
| As I suppose it best. | ||
| But well ye thyncke I Geyst | ||
| By cocke for all your lokes | ||
| 210 | You maye claspe vp your bookes | |
| And then go kepe the roockes | ||
| Or els wyth hangle-hookes | ||
| Go fyshe and take some flookes | ||
| For cleane your cleargy crookes | ||
| 215 | And goeth no more on ryght | |
| Synce these beganne to wryght | ||
| Ye haue no more no might | ||
| To florysh in theyr syght | ||
| But thys I wyll you tell | ||
| 220 | The Mason doth excell | |
| Wherfore he may ful well | ||
| Aboue all beare the Bell | ||
| Wherfore wyth all my power | ||
| I wyll eche daye and hower | ||
| 225 | Aduaunce hys hyghe honour | |
| sig: [A7] | ||
| Praiyng these Muses Sacre | ||
| Wyth Hellicons Lauacre | ||
| To washe me by theyr ayde | ||
| To do as I haue saide. | ||
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*The prayse of the Poete. |
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| 230 | O Poete so impudent | |
| Whyche neuer yet was studente | ||
| To thee, the Goddes prudente | ||
| Minerua is illudente | ||
| Thou wrytest thynges dyffuse | ||
| 235 | Incongrue, and confuse | |
| Obfuscate and obtuse | ||
| No man the lyke doth vse | ||
| Among the Turckes or Iewes | ||
| Alwayes inuentyng newes | ||
| 240 | That are incomparable | |
| They be so fyrme and stable | ||
| Lyke as a Shyppe is able | ||
| Wythout Ancre and Cable | ||
| Roother Maste or Sayle | ||
| 245 | Pully Rope or Nayle | |
| In Wynde Weather or Hayle | ||
| sig: [A7v] | ||
| To guyde both top and tayle | ||
| And not the course to fayle | ||
| So thys our Poet maye | ||
| 250 | Wythout a stopp or staye | |
| In cunnynge wend the way | ||
| As wel by darke as day | ||
| And neuer go astray | ||
| Yf yt be as they say. | ||
| 255 | O Poet rare and Recent | |
| Dedecorate / and endecent | ||
| Insolent and insensate | ||
| Contendyng and condensate | ||
| Obtused and obturate | ||
| 260 | Obumbylate, obdurate | |
| Sparyng no Prest or Curate | ||
| Cyuylyan or Rurate | ||
| That be alredy marryed | ||
| And from theyr vow bene varyed | ||
| 265 | Wherto the scrypture them caried | |
| They myght as wel haue taryed | ||
| I sweare by the northdoore Rood | ||
| That stowte was whyle he stood | ||
| That they had bene as good | ||
| sig: [A8] | ||
| 270 | To haue solde theyr best blew hood | |
| For I am in suche a moode | ||
| That for my power and parte | ||
| Wyth al my wyt and arte | ||
| Wyth whole intent and harte | ||
| 275 | I wyl so at them Darte | |
| That some of them shal farte | ||
| Before they feele it smarte. | ||
| Coulde not these bloods be pleased | ||
| Wyth mens wyues to be eased | ||
| 280 | And in their daughtars seased | |
| As wel as the other greased | ||
| Though thus they had not preased? | ||
| In fayth they shalbe feased | ||
| For I set to my hand | ||
| 285 | In fyght wyth them to stand | |
| By water and by lande | ||
| By grauell and by Sande | ||
| And by the salte sea-strond | ||
| Beholde here is a wand | ||
| 290 | To beate them back and bone | |
| I trow a thyng alone | ||
| To make these gallantes grone | ||
| sig: [A8v] | ||
| And withe our poetes ayde | ||
| They shalbe so dismayde | ||
| 295 | So fearfull and afrayde | |
| That downe they shalbe layde, | ||
| As thycke as hoppes and hayle. | ||
| Nowe wyll I them assayle | ||
| And threashe them withe my Flayle | ||
| 300 | To marre these married Preistes | |
| I fyghte wyth bothe my Fystes | ||
| Looke on the fraye who Lystes. | ||
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A Latten Clubbe, or Hurle-Batte.
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O UOS Insensati
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| Ex Sathana Nati | ||
| 305 | Satyrique Uocati | |
| Barbis Detonsati | ||
| Loti Leuigati | ||
| Corollis designati | ||
| Quo sic effeminati | ||
| 310 | Molles et Parati | |
| Sitis, Stupro dati | ||
| Petulantes Hoedi | ||
| Turpes et Cinoedi | ||
| Per quos Pios ledi | ||
| 315 | Ac Insontes Cedi | |
| Certo possit Credi | ||
| Procreantes Hibride | ||
| Sed Amicti Nebride | ||
| sig: B1 | ||
| Quod non estis Nupte | ||
| 320 | Eo plus Corrupti | |
| Castum profitentes | ||
| Non custodientes | ||
| Uerum odientes | ||
| Falsumque Docentes | ||
| 325 | Uxores non habentes | |
| Alias Conquerentes | ||
| Nubere abnuentes | ||
| Incestui cedentes | ||
| Lupi Existentes | ||
| 330 | Lupam subsequentes | |
| Priapo seruientes | ||
| In Deum statuentes | ||
| Ipsum_que Colentes Colentes] Colentess 1548 | ||
| Uuluas Indagantes | ||
| 335 | Illecebras Amantes | |
| Uelut Scortatores | ||
| Aliorum Uxores | ||
| Filias et Sorores | ||
| Seruas et Ancillas | ||
| 340 | Seducentes Illas | |
| Rapitis Ubique | ||
| Uiuentes quam oblique | ||
| Nigri Necromantici | ||
| Hydri Hydromantici | ||
| 345 | Putridi Piromantici | |
| Incantantes Idolatres | ||
| Publici Pseudolatres | ||
| Auum Sathanam habetis | ||
| Patrem Papamque Tenetis | ||
| 350 | Matris Gremioque sedetis | |
| Gomor eam Nominetis | ||
| Cum his Penasque Luetis | ||
| Lupinis Uestibus | ||
| sig: [B1v] | ||
| Caudis et Testibus | ||
| 355 | Dediti Incestibus | |
| Uiperarum Genus | ||
| Quorum dea Uenus | ||
| Infernorum Tenus | ||
| Ducet Imperpetuum | ||
| 360 | Ad Ditis Supplicium | |
| Id quod Uetet Ille | ||
| Qui Seruat Millia Mille. | ||
| ECQUID UOS BEO?
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| Lo now how like you thys? | ||
| I trowe I dyd you Blisse | ||
| 365 | And them as woorthy is | |
| To dyng tyll they shall Pisse | ||
| Me-thynke I doo not misse | ||
| Though my Crowne be not scraped | ||
| Nor I in Order mysshaped | ||
| 370 | Nor for suche woorshyppe gaped | |
| Nor anoyted Preyste wyth Oyle | ||
| Nor Creame or other Soyle | ||
| Nor tooke suche fylthy Foyle | ||
| Yet wyll I tugge and Toyle | ||
| 375 | Tosse turne and Turmoyle | |
| Cumbre Clowte and Coyle | ||
| sig: B2 | ||
| Dismembre and Dispoyle | ||
| All them that I maye catche | ||
| That dayly wayte and watche | ||
| 380 | Feacte wenches to vpsnatche | |
| And marrye to their Matche | ||
| But I wyll them dispatche | ||
| And byggely on them beate | ||
| For all their wyues so feacte | ||
| 385 | That are so Nyce and Neate | |
| Whiche sittyng on their Seate | ||
| Of Scriptures wyll Intreate | ||
| And fayne woulde vs defeacte | ||
| Wyth woordes grymme and greate | ||
| 390 | From Beades of woodde and Geate | |
| And from our myghtie Meate | ||
| That is, our God of wheate | ||
| Puffe, so I Swelle and Sweate | ||
| I fridge I frothe and freate | ||
| 395 | Of thys Uncowthe to thynke | |
| But suerly shall they Drynke | ||
| Tyll aboue the grounde they stynke | ||
| Wyth a Lyrycum Twynke | ||
| For I can neuer Swynke | ||
| sig: [B2v] | ||
| 400 | As longe as our Uulcanus | |
| And lusty Longimanus | ||
| Wyll sticke whyle he is Sanus | ||
| For though he be Prophanus | ||
| He is not nothyng Uanus | ||
| 405 | Nor learned lyke Alanus | |
| I tell you he is no Na[n]us | ||
| But one of stature stoute | ||
| No Lubber nor no Loute | ||
| He wyll reache rounde aboute | ||
| 410 | And ventyng wyth hys snoute | |
| Wyll touche them toppe and towte | ||
| And all theyr rufflyng rowte | ||
| Wyth Clarckly clubbes to cloute | ||
| For fyersly hath he fought | ||
| 415 | Endeuouryng to dryue oute | |
| The reader in our queare | ||
| That draweth to hym here | ||
| Men commyng farre and neare | ||
| There dyd oure Smythe appeare | ||
| 420 | With countenaunce so cleare | |
| Full chaungeable in cheare | ||
| And dapper as a deare | ||
| sig: [B3] | ||
| Chefely he dyd hym charge | ||
| How he had caught at large | ||
| 425 | More then he coulde dyscharge | |
| Or fynde in text or Marge | ||
| Concernyng Consecratyon | ||
| And Transubstanciation | ||
| Or all oure Transmutacion | ||
| 430 | And Substaunce Alteracion | |
| Deniyng Ueneracion | ||
| And also Adoration | ||
| In tyme of Ministration | ||
| And that Non dentibus | ||
| 435 | Panem Prementibus | |
| Nullis Euentibus | ||
| Christum Gustari | ||
| Nec Mancipari | ||
| Posse vel decipi | ||
| 440 | Sensus, cum Recipi | |
| Dabitur Panis | ||
| Sed Smyth Immanis | ||
| Abiit Inanis | ||
| But or he wente awaye | ||
| 445 | He trymmed hym I saye | |
| Wyth goodly tantes and gaye | ||
| And wyth a tryggum_tray | ||
| Lyke a fyne Philologus | ||
| sig: [B3v] | ||
| Or rather a Pantolobus | ||
| 450 | He called hym Spermologus | |
| And wold haue a Dialogus | ||
| But were there a Catalogus | ||
| Of hym and al hys sect | ||
| He myght be chef elect | ||
| 455 | These reders to correct | |
| For wel can he obiect | ||
| And Subtelly suspect | ||
| In thynges that be dyrect | ||
| But sure yf he be chect | ||
| 460 | Your corrage is deiect | |
| And al your hope in vayne | ||
| Yet styl wyl I remayne | ||
| To take for you greate payne | ||
| Yf ye wyl me retayne | ||
| 465 | And put myselfe in parrel | |
| To fyght thus in your quarrell | ||
| Yf thou O Poet once | ||
| That well canst cowche thy stones | ||
| Or faber wyth hys mall | ||
| 470 | To me for helpe wyll call | |
| Either wyth boke or word | ||
| sig: [B4] | ||
| Soone wyl I be the thyrd | ||
| So if I fynde you kynde | ||
| Certes you shal me bynde | ||
| 475 | To shew that is behynd | |
| Wel wel ye know my mynde. | ||
| LO thus Philogamus | ||
| After thys sorte | ||
| Helpeth Misogamus | ||
| 480 | Hym to comforte | |
| Agaynst Monogamus | ||
| That dothe reporte | ||
| That youre Apogamus | ||
| Is but aborte. | ||
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FINIS: |
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