Why Come Ye Nat to Courte?

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¶Here-after foloweth a lytell boke, whiche hath to name, why come ye nat to courte, compyled by mayster Skelton poete Laureate.

sig: [A1v] [page blank in K, Kit, but woodcut in T]

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Ringler, TP 2055, describes this as a carol and gives pub. details

¶All noble men of this take hede of this] R omits

And beleue it as your Crede.

TO hasty of sentence

To ferce for none offence

To scarce of your expence

To large in neglygence

ref.ed: 279

To slacke in recompence

To haute in excellence

To lyght intellegence lyght] lyght of R

And to lyght in credence

Where these kepe resydence

Reson is banysshed thence

And also dame prudence

With sober sapyence

All noble men .etc.

¶Than witho[u]t collusyon

Marke well this conclusyon

Through suche abusyon

And by suche Illusyon

Unto great confusyon

A noble man may fall

And his honour appall

And yf ye thynke this shall

Not rubbe you on the gall you] hym R

Than the deuyll take all

.etc.

Hec vates ille, de quo loquntur mille

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K misnumbers as A2

¶Why come ye nat to court?

FOr age is a page

For the courte full vnmete

For age can nat rage

Nor basse her swete swete

But whan age seeth that rage

Dothe aswage and refrayne

Than wyll age haue a corage

To come to court agayne

But

Helas / sage ouerage

So madly decayes So] To T, Kit, M

That age for dottage

ref.ed: 280

Is reconed now-adayes reconed] recouered T, Kit, M

Thus age a graunt domage a] Kit, M omit

Is nothynge set by

And rage in a ####ab#### rerage

Dothe rynne lamentably

That rage must make pyllage

To catche that catche may

And with suche forage

Hunte the boskage

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That hartes wyll ronne away

Bothe hartes and hyndes

With all good myndes

Fare-well / than haue good day

¶Than haue good daye a ####ab#### dewe

For defaute of rescew

Some men may happely rew

And some theyr hedes mew some] T, Kit, M omit

The tyme dothe fast ensew

That bales begynne to brew

I drede by swete Iesu

This tale will be to trew

In faythe dycken thou krew

In fayth dicken thou krew .etc.

DIcken / thou krew doutlesse

For trewly to expresse

There hath ben moche excesse

With banketynge braynlesse

With ryotynge rechelesse

With gambaudynge thryftlesse

With spende / and wast witlesse

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Treatinge of trewse restlesse

Pratynge for peace peaslesse

The countrynge at Cales The] They K, T, Kit, M

Wrang vs on the [m]ales males] wales K, T, Kit, M

Chefe counselour was carlesse

Gronynge grouchyng gracelesse

And to none entente

ref.ed: 281

Our talwod is all brent

Our fagottes are all spent

We may blowe at the cole

Our mare hath cast her fole

And mocke ha[t]h lost her sho hath] harh K

What may she do ther-to

An ende of an olde song

Do ryght and do no wronge do no] no Kit, M

As ryght as a rammes-horne

For thrifte is threde-bare worn

Our shepe are shrewdly shorn

And trouthe is all to ####ab#### torne

Wysdom is laught to skorne

Fauell is false forsworne

Iauell is nobly borne

Hauell and Haruy hafter

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Iack Trauell and Cole Crafter

We shall here more herafter

With pollynge and shauynge

With borowynge and crauyn[g]e crauynge] crauyne K

With reuynge and rauynge

With swerynge and starynge

There vayleth no resonynge

For wyll dothe rule all-thynge

Wyll / wyll / wyll / wyll / wyll

He ruleth alway styll

Good reason and good skyll

They may garlycke pyll

Cary sackes to the myll

Or pescoddes they may shyll

Or elles go rost a stone

There is no man but one

That hathe the strokes alone

Be it blacke or whight

All that he dothe is ryght

As right as a Cammocke croked

This byll well ouer-loked

Clerely perceuye we may

There went the hare away

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The hare / the fox / the gray

ref.ed: 282

The harte / the hynde / the buck

God sende vs better luck

¶God sende vs better lucke .etc.

Twit Andrewe / twit scot scot] scote K, Scot T, Kit, M

Ge heme / ge scour thy pot

For we haue spente our shot

We shall haue a tot-quot

From the pope of Rome

100

To weue all in one lome

A webbe of Lylse-Wulse

Opus male dulce

The deuyll kysse h[i]s cule his] hes K, his T, Kit, M

For whyles he doth rule

105

All is warse and warse

The deuyll kysse his arse

For whether he blesse or curse

It can not be moche worse

From Baumberow to Bothombar Bothombar] bothambar T, Kit, M

110

We haue cast vp our war

And mad a worthy trewse mad] made T, Kit, M

With gup leuell-suse

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Our mony madly lent lent] sent M

And mor madly spent

115

From Croydon in-to Kent into] to T, Kit, M

Wote ye whyther they went

From wynchelsey to Rye

And all nat worth a flye

From wentbridge to Hull

120

Our armye waxeth dull

With tourne all home agayne

And neuer a scot slayne

Yet the good erle of Surray

The frenche-men he doth fray

125

And vexeth them day by day

With all the power he may

The french-men he hath faynted

And mad theyr hertes attaynted

Of cheualry he is the floure

130

Our lorde be his soccoure

The french-men he hathe so mated

ref.ed: 283

And theyr courage abated

That they are but halfe-men

Lyke foxes in theyr denne

135

Lyke cankerd cowardes all

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Lyke Urcheons in a stone wall urcheons] heons Kit, M

They kepe them in theyr holdes

Lyke hen-herted cokoldes

¶But yet they ouer-shote vs

140

Wyth crownes and wyth Scut[u]s

Wyth Scutis and crownes of golde

I drede we are bought and solde

It is a wonders warke

They shote all at one marke

145

At the Cardynals-hat

Th[e]y shote all at that They] Thy K, They T, Kit, M

Oute of theyr stronge townes

They shote at him with crownes

With crownes of golde enblased

150

They make him so a ####ab#### mased

And his eyen so dased

That he ne se can

To know god nor man

He is set so hye

155

In his Ierarchy

Of frantycke frenesy

And folysshe fantasy

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That in the chambre of sterres

All maters there he marres

160

Clappyng his rod on the borde

No man dare speke a worde

For he hathe all the sayenge

With-out any renayenge

He rolleth in his recordes

165

He sayth / how saye ye my lordes

Is nat my reason good

Good euyn good Robyn hode

Some say yes. And some

Syt styll / as they were dom

170

Thus thwartyng ouer thom

He ruleth all the roste

ref.ed: 284

With braggynge and with bost

Borne vp on euery syde

With pompe and with pryde

175

With trompe vp Alleluya

For dame Philarger[y]a Philargerya] Philargera K, Philargerya T, Kit, M

Hathe so his herte in holde

He loueth nothyng but golde

And Asmodeus of hell

180

Maketh his membres swell

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With Dalyda to mell

That wanton damosell that] the M

¶Adew philosophia

Adew Theologia

185

Welcome dame Simonia

With dame Castrimergia

To drynke and for to eate

Swete ypocrus and swete-meate

To kepe his flesshe chast

190

In lent for a repast

He eateth c[a]pons stewed capons] copons K, Capons T, Kit, M

Fesaunt / and partriche mewed

Hennes / checkynges / and pygges

He foynes and he frygges

195

Spareth neither mayde ne wyfe

This is a postels lyfe

Helas / my herte is sory

To tell of vayne-glory

But now vpon this story

200

I wyll no further ryme

Tyll another tyme

¶Tyll another tyme .etc.

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What newes what news

Small newes that true is

205

That be worth .ii. kues

But at the naked stewes

I vnder ####ab#### stande how that

The sygne of the Cardynall-hat

That Inne is now shyt vp

210

With gup hore gup / now gup

ref.ed: 285

Gup Guilliam Trauillian

With iast you I say Iullian

Wyll ye bere no coles

A mayny of marefoles

215

That occupy theyr holys

Full of pocky molys

What here ye of Lancashyre

They were nat payde their hyre

They are fel as any fyre

220

What here ye of Chesshyre

They haue layde all in the myre

They grugyd and sayde

Theyr wages were nat payde

Some sayde they were afrayde

225

Of the sco[t]tysshe hoost scottysshe] scortysshe K, Scottisshe T, Kit, Scottishe M

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For all theyr crack and bost crack] crake Kit, T, M

Wylde-fyre and thonder

For all this worldly wonder

A hundred myle a ####ab#### sonder

230

They were / whan the[y] were next they] the K, they T, Kit, M

That is a trew text

What here ye of the scottes

They make vs all sottes

Poppynge folysshe dawes

235

They make vs to pyll strawes

They play their olde pranckes

After huntley bankes

At the streme of Banockes burne

They dyd vs a shrewde turne

240

Whan Edwarde of Karnaruan

Lost all his father wan all his] al that his T, all that his Kit, M

¶What here ye of the lorde Dakers

He maketh vs Iacke rakers

He sayes we ar but crakers

245

He calleth vs England-men

Stronge-herted lyke an hen

ref.ed: 286

For the scottes and he

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To well they do agre

With do thou for me

250

And I shall do for the

Whyles the red hat doth endure

He m[a]keth him-selfe cock-sure maketh] mketh K

The red hat with his lure

Bryngeth all thynges vnder cure

255

But as the worlde now gose

What here ye of the lord Rose

Nothynge to purpose

Nat worth a cockly fose

Their hertes be in thyr hose

260

The erle of Northumberlande

Dare take nothynge on hande

Our barons be so bolde

In-to a mouse-hole they wolde

Rynne away and crepe

265

Lyke a mayny of shepe

Dare nat loke out at dur at] a Kit, M

For drede of the mastyue cur

For drede of the bochers dogge

Wold wyrry them lyke an hogge

270

For and this curre do gnar

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They must stande all a ####ab#### far

To holde vp their hande at the bar

For all their noble blode

He pluckes them by the hode

275

And shakes them by the eare

And brynge[s] them in suche feare brynges] brynge K, bring T, bryng Kit, M

He bayteth them lyke a bere

Lyke an oxe or a bull

Theyr wyttes he saith are dull

280

He sayth they haue no brayne

Theyr astate to mayntayne

And maketh them to bow theyr kne maketh them] make T, Kit, M

Be ####ab#### fore his maieste

¶Iuges of the kynges lawes

285

He countys them foles and dawes

ref.ed: 287

Sergyantes of the coyfe eke

He sayth they are to seke

In pletynge of theyr case

At the commune place

290

Or at the kynges benche

He wryngeth them suche a wrenche

That all our lerned men

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Dare nat set theyr penne

To plete a trew tryall

295

With-in westmynster hall

In the Chauncery where he syttes

But suche as he admyttes

None so hardy to speke

He sayth / thou huddy-peke

300

Thy lernynge is to lewde

Thy tonge is nat well thewde

To seke before our grace

And openly in that place

He rages and he raues

305

And cals them cankerd knaues

Thus royally he dothe deale

Under the kynges brode seale

And in the checker he them cheks

In the ster-chambre he noddis and beks

310

And bereth him there so stowte

That no man dare rowte

Duke / erle / baron nor lorde

But to his sentence must accorde

Whether he be knyght or squyre

315

All men must folow his desyre must] M omits

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What say ye of the scottysh kynge

That is another thyng

He is but an yonglyng

A stal ####ab#### worthy stryplyng stalworthy] tall worthy Kit, M

320

There is a whyspring and a whipling There] Her Kit, M

He shulde be hyder brought

But and it were well sought

I trow all wyll be nought

Nat worth a shyttel-cocke

325

Nor worth a sowre calstocke

ref.ed: 288

¶There goth many a lye

Of the duke of Albany

That of shulde go his hede

And brought in quycke or dede

330

And all Scotlande owers

The mountena[u]nce of two houres

But as some men sayne

I drede of some false trayne

Subtelly wrought shall be

335

Under a fayned treatee

But with-in monethes thre

Men may happely se

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The trechery / and the prankes

Of the Scottysshe bankes

340

What here ye of Burgonyons

And the Spainyardes onyons

They haue slain our Englisshmen

Aboue threscore and ten

For all youre amyte

345

No better they agre

God saue my lorde Admyrell

What here ye of Mutrell

There-with I dare nat mell

Yet what here ye tell

350

Of our graunde counsell

I coulde say some-what

But speke ye no more of that

For drede of the red hat

Take peper in the nose

355

For than thyne heed of gose

Of by the harde arse

But there is some trauarse

Bytwene some and some

That makys our syre to glum

360

It is some-what wronge

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That his berde is so longe

He morneth in blacke clothynge

ref.ed: 289

I pray god saue the kynge

Where-euer he go or ryde

365

I pray god be his gyde

Thus wyll I conclude my style

And fall to rest a whyle

¶And so to rest a whyle .etc.

ONes yet agayne

370

Of you I wolde frayne

Why come ye nat to court

To whyche court?

To the kynges courte

Or to Hampton court?

375

Nay / to the kynges court

The kynges courte

Shulde haue the excellence

But Hampton court

Hath the preemynence

380

And yorkes place

With my lordes grace

To whose magnifycence

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Is all the conflewence

Sutys and supplycacyons

385

Embassades of all nacyons

Strawe for lawe conon

Or for lawe common

Or for lawe cyuyll

It shall be as he wyll

390

Stop at lawe tancrete

An [a]bstract or a concrete abstract] obstract K, T, Kit, M

Be it soure be it swete

His wysdome is so dyscrete

That in a fume or an hete

395

Wardeyn of the flete

Set hym fast by the fete

And of his royall powre

Whan him lyst to lowre

Than haue him to the towre

400

Saunz aulter remedy

Ha[u]e hym forthe by and by

ref.ed: 290

To the marshalsy

Or to the kynges benche

He dyggeth so in the trenche

405

Of the court royall

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That he ruleth them all

So he dothe vndermynde

And suche sleyghtes dothe fynde

That the kynges mynde

410

By him is subuerted

And so streatly coarted

In credensynge his tales

That all is but nutshales

That any other sayth

415

He hath in him suche fayth

¶Now / yet all this myght be

Suffred / and taken in gre

If that that he wrought

To any good ende were brought

420

But all he bringeth to nought

By god that me dere bought By] But M

He bereth the [kyng] on hand kyng] dkeyng K, kyng T, king Kit, M

That he must pyll his lande

To make his cofers ryche

425

But he laythe all in the dyche

And vseth suche abusyoun

That in the conclusyoun

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All commeth to confusyon

Perceyue the cause why

430

To tell the trouth playnly

He is so ambicyous

So shamles / an[d] so vicyous and] an K, and T, Kit, M

And so supersticyous

And so moche obliuyous

435

From whens that he came

That he falleth in-to Aci[d]iam into] in M; Acidiam] Acisiam K, T, Kit, M

Whiche truly to expresse

Is a forgetfulnesse

Or wylfull blynd[n]esse

440

Wherwith the Sodomites

ref.ed: 291

Lost theyr inward syghtes

The gommoryans also

Were brought to deedly wo

As scrypture recordis

445

A cecitate cordis

In the latyne synge we

Lybera nos domine

But this madde Amalecke

Lyke to a mamelek a mamelek] Amamelek K, T, Kit M

450

He regardeth lordes

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No more than pot-shordes

He is in suche elacyon

Of his exaltacyon

And the supportacyon

455

Of our souerayne lorde

That god to recorde

He ruleth all at wyll

With-out reason or skyll

How-be-it the primordyall the] they be Kit, M

460

Of his wretched originall

And his base progeny

And his gresy genealogy

He came of the sank-royall

Yt was cast out of a bochers stall

465

¶But how-euer he was borne

Men wolde haue the lesse scorne

If he coulde consyder

His byrth and rowme to ####ab#### geder

And call to his mynde

470

How noble and how kynde

To him he hathe founde

Our souereyne lorde / chyfe grounde

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Of all this prelacy

And set hym nobly

475

In great auctoryte

Out from a low degre

Whiche he can nat se

For he was parde

No doctor of deuinyte

ref.ed: 292

480

Nor doctor of the law

Nor of none other saw

But a poore maister of arte

God wot had lytell parte

Of the Quatriuials

485

Nor yet of triuials

Nor of philosophy

Nor of Philology

Nor of good pollycy

Nor of astronomy

490

Not acquaynted worth a fly

With honorable Haly

Nor with royall Ptholomy

Nor with Albumasar

To treate of any star

495

Fyxt or els mobyll

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His latyne tonge dothe hobbyll

He doth but cloute and cobbill

In Tullis faculte

Called humanyte

500

Yet proudly he dare pretende

How no man can him amende

But haue ye nat harde this

How an one-eyed man is

Well-syghted / when

505

He is amonge blynde men

¶Than our processe for to stable

This man was full vnable

To reche to suche degre

Had nat our prynce be

510

Royall Henry the eyght

Take him in suche conceyght

That he set him on heyght

In exemplyfyenge

Great Alexander the kynge

515

In writynge as we fynde

Whiche of his royall mynde

And of his noble pleasure

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Transcendynge out of mesure

Thought to do a thynge

ref.ed: 293

520

That perteyneth to a kyn[g]e

To make vp one of nought

A[n]d made to him be brought

A wretched poore man

Whiche his lyuenge wan

525

With plantyng of lekes

By the dayes and by the wekes

And of this poore vassall

He made a kynge royall

And gaue him a realme to rule

530

That occupyed a showell

A mattoke / and a spade

Before that he was made

A kynge / as I haue tolde

And ruled as he wolde

535

Suche is a kynges power

To make with-in an hower

And worke suche a myracle

That shall be a spectacle

Of renowme and worldly fame

540

In lykewyse now the same

sig: [B6v]

Cardynall / is promoted

Yet with lewde condicyons cotyd cotyd] noted Kit, M

As herafter ben notyd

Presumcyon and vayne-glory

545

Enuy / wrath / and lechery

Couetys / and glotony

Slouthfull to do good

Now frantick / now starke wode

Shulde this man of suche mode

550

Rule the swerde of myght

How can he do ryght

For he wyll as sone smyght

His frende / as his fo

A prouerbe longe a ####ab#### go

555

¶Set vp a wretche on hye

In a trone triumphantlye

Make him a great astate

And he wyll play checke-mate

With ryall maieste

ref.ed: 294

560

Counte him-selfe as good as he

A prelate potencyall

To rule vnder Bellyall

sig: [B7]

As ferce and as cruell

As the fynd of hell

565

His seruauntes menyall

He doth reuyle and brall

Lyke Mahounde in a play

No man dare him withsay

He hath dispyght and scorne

570

At them that be well borne

He rebukes them and rayles

Ye horsons / ye vassayles

Ye knaues / ye churles sonnys

Ye rebads nat worth two plummis

575

Ye raynbetyn beggers reiagged

Ye recrayed ruffyns all ragged

With stowpe thou hauell

Rynne thou iauell

Thou peuysshe pye pecked

580

Thou losell longe-necked

Thus dayly they be decked

Taunted and checked

That they are so wo

They wot not whether to go

585

No man dare come to the speche

sig: [B7v]

Of this gentell Iack breche

Of what estate he be

Of spirituall dygnyte

Nor duke of hye degre

590

Nor Marques / erle / nor lorde

Whiche shrewdly doth accorde

Thus he borne so base

All noble men shulde out-face

His countynaunce lyke a kayser

595

My lorde is nat at layser

Syr ye must tary a stounde

Tyll better layser be founde

And syr / ye must daunce attendaunce

And take pacient sufferaunce

600

For my lordes grace

ref.ed: 295

Hath nowe no tyme nor space

To speke with you / as yet

¶And thus they shall syt

Chuse them syt or flyt

605

Stande / walke / or ryde

And his layser a ####ab#### byde

Parchaunce halfe a yere

And yet neuer the nere

sig: [B8]

This daungerous dowsypere

610

Lyke a kynges pere

And within this .xvi. yere

He wolde haue ben ryght fayne

To haue ben a chapleyne

And haue taken ryght gret payne

615

With a poore knyght

What-soeuer he hyght

The chefe of his owne counsell

They can nat well tell

Whan they with hym shulde mell

620

He is so fyers and fell

He rayles and he ratis

He calleth them doddy-patis

He grynnes and he gapis

As it were Iack napis

625

Suche a madde bedleme

For to rewle this reame

It is a wonders case wonders] wonderous Kit, M

That the kynges grace

Is toward hym so mynded

630

And so farre blynded

That he can nat parceyue

sig: [B8v]

How he doth hym disceyue

I dought lest by Sorsery

Or suche other loselry

635

As wychecraft / or charmyng

For he is the kynges derlyng

And his swete hart-rote

And is gouerned by this mad kote And] M omits

For what is a man the better

640

For the kynges letter

ref.ed: 296

For he wyll tere it a ####ab#### sonder

Wherat moche I wonder

Now suche a hoddy-poule

So boldely dare controule

645

And so malapertly withstande

The kynges owne hande

And settys nat by it a myte

He sayth the kynge doth wryte

And writeth he wottith nat what wottith] wot T, Kit, M

650

And yet for all that

The kynge his clemency

Despensyth with his demensy

¶But what his grace doth thinke

sig: C1

I haue no pen nor inke

655

That therwith can mell

But wele I can tell

How Frauncis Petrarke

That moche noble clerke

Wryteth how Charlemayn

660

Coude nat him-selfe refrayne

But was rauysht with a rage

Of a lyke dotage

But how that came aboute

Rede ye the story oute

665

And ye shall fynde surely

It was by nycromansy

By carectes and coniuracyon

Under a certayne constellacion

And a certayne fumygacion

670

Under a stone on a golde ryng

Wrought to Charlemayn the king

Whiche constrayned him forcebly

For to loue a certayne body

Aboue all other inordinatly

675

This is no fable nor no lye

At Acon it was brought to pas

sig: [C1v]

As by myne auctor tried it was

But let mi masters mathematical

Tell you the rest / for me they shal

ref.ed: 297

680

They haue the full intellygence

And dare vse the experyens

In there [a]bsolute consciens absolute] obsolute K, T, Kit, M

To pract[iq]ue suche abolete sciens practique] practyue K, practique, T, Kit, M

For I abhore to smatter

685

Of one so deuyllysshe a matter

But I wyll make further relacion

Of this Isagogicall colation

How maister Gaguine the crownycler

Of the feytis of war

690

That were done in Fraunce

Maketh remembraunce

How kynge Lewes of late

Made vp a great astate

Of a poore wretchid man

695

Wherof moche care began

Iohannes Balua was his name

Myne auctor writeth the same

Promoted was he

To a Cardynalles dygnyte

sig: [C2]

700

By Lewes the kyng a ####ab#### foresayd

With hym so wele apayd

That he made him his chauncelar

To make all / or to mar

And to rule as hym lyst

705

Tyll he cheked at the fyst

And agayne all reason

Commyted open trayson

And against his lorde souerayn

Wherfore he suffred payn

710

Was hedyd / drawen / and quarterd

And dyed stynkingly marterd

¶Lo yet for all that

He ware a cardynals-hat

In hym was small fayth

715

As myne auctor sayth

Nat for that I mene

Such a casuelte shulde be sene

Or suche chaunce shulde fall

Unto our cardynall

ref.ed: 298

720

All-myghty god I trust

Hath for him dyscust

That of force he must

sig: [C2v]

Be faythfull / trew / and iust

To our most royall kynge

725

Chefe rote of his makynge

Yet it is a wyly mouse

That can bylde his dwellinge-house

With-in the cattes eare

Withouten drede or feare

730

It is a nyce reconynge

To put all the gouernynge

All the rule of this lande

In-to one mannys hande

One wyse mannys hede

735

May stande somwhat in stede

But the wyttys of many wyse

Moche better can deuyse

By theyr cyrcumspection

And theyr sad dyrection

740

To cause the commune-weale

Longe to endure in heale

Christ kepe king Henry the eyght

From trechery and dysceyght

And graunt him grace to know

745

The faucon from the crow

sig: [C3]

The wolfe from the lam

From whens that mastyfe cam

Let him neuer confounde

The gentyll greyhownde

750

Of this matter the grownde

Is easy to expounde

And soone may be perceyuid

How the worlde is conueyed

¶But harke my frende one worde

755

In ernest or in borde

Tell me nowe in this stede

Is maister Mewtas dede

The kynges frenshe secretary

And his vntrew aduersary

ref.ed: 299

760

For he sent in writynge

To Fraunces the french ky[n]g

Of our maisters counsel in euerithing

That was a peryllous rekeny[n]g rekenyng] rekenyg K

¶Nay nay / he is nat dede

765

But he was so payned in the hede

That he shall neuer ete more bred

sig: [C3v]

Now he is gone to another stede

With a bull vnder lead

By way of commissyon

770

To a straunge iurisdictyon

Called Dymingis dale

Farre by ####ab#### yonde Portyngale

And hathe his pas-port to pas

Ultra sauromatas

775

To the deuyll syr Sathanas

To Pluto and syr Bellyall

The deuyls vycare-generall

And to his college conuentuall

As well calodemonyall

780

As to cacademonyall

To puruey for our Cardynall

A palace pontifycall

To kepe his court prouyncyall

Upon artycles iudicyall

785

To contende and to stryue

For his prerogatyue

With-in that consystory

To make sommons peremtory

Be ####ab#### fore some prothonetory

sig: [C4]

790

Imperyall or papall

Upon this matter mistycall

I haue told you part / but nat all

Herafter perchaunce I shall

Make a larger memoryall larger] large M

795

And a further rehersall

And more paper I thinke to blot

To the court why I cam not

Desyring you aboue all-thynge

To kepe you from laughynge

ref.ed: 300

800

Whan ye fall to redynge

Of this wanton scrowle

And pray for Mewtas sowle

For he is well past and gone

That wolde god euerychone

805

Of his affynyte

Were gone as well as he

Amen / amen / say ye

Of your in ####ab#### ward charyte.

Amen.

810

¶Of your inward charyte.

IT were great rewth

For wrytynge of trewth

sig: [C4v]

Any man shulde be

In perplexyte

815

Of dyspleasure

For I make you sure

Where trouth is abhorde

It is a playne recorde

That there wantys grace

820

In whose place

Dothe occupy

Full vngracyously

Fals flatery flatery] flatteryng R

Fals t[re]chery trechery] terchery K, trechery T, Kit, M

825

Fals brybery

Subtyle Sym Sly Sym Sly] Symonye R

With madde foly

For who can best lye best] R omits

He is best set by best] most R

830

Than farewell to the

Welthfull felycite Welthfull] Welthe full of R

For prosperyte

Away than wyll fle

Than must we agre

835

With pouerte

sig: [C5]

For mysery

With penury

Myserably

And wretchydly

ref.ed: 301

840

Hath made askrye

And outcry outcry] doute cry R

Folowynge the chase

To dryue away grace

Yet sayst thou per ####ab#### case

845

We can lacke no grace

For my lordes grace

And my ladies grace

With trey duse ase

And ase in the face

850

Some haute and some base

Some daunce the trace

Euer in one case

Marke me that chase me] well R

In the tennys play

855

For synke quater trey

Is a tall man tall] toll R

He rod / but we ran rod but we] rode not but he R

Hay-the-gye and the gan

sig: [C5v]

The gray gose is no swan no] a R

860

The waters wax wan

And beggers they ban

And they cursed datan they cursed] the course R

De tribu dan

That this warke began

865

Palam / et clam

With Balak and Balam

¶The golden ram

Of flemmynge dam

Sem / Iapheth / or cam?

870

But howe comme to pas

Your cupbord that was

Is tourned to glasse

From syluer to brasse

From golde to pewter

875

Or els to a newter

To copper / to tyn

To lede or / alcumyn

A goldsmyth your mayre

But the chefe of your fayre

880

Myght stande nowe by potters Myght] Most R

ref.ed: 302

sig: [C6]

And such as sell trotters

Pytchars / potshordis potshordis] pouchers R

This shrewdly accordis

To be a copborde for lordys

885

My lorde now and syr knyght now] R omits

Good euyn and good nyght

For now syr Trestram

Ye must weare bukram

Or canues of Cane

890

For sylkes are wane

Our royals that shone

Our nobles are gone

Amonge the Burgonyons

And spanyardes onyons

895

And the Flanderkyns

Gyll swetis and Cate spynnys Cate] R omits

They are happy that wynnys

But Englande may well say

Fye on this wynnyng all-way this] R omits

900

Now nothynge / but pay pay

With laughe and lay downe

Borowgh / cyte / and towne

Good Sprynge of Lanam

sig: [C6v]

Must counte what became

905

Of his clothe-makynge

He is at suche takynge

Though his purse wax dull

He must tax for his wull

By nature of a newe writ

910

My lordys grace nameth it

A quia non satisfacit

In the spyght of his tethe

He must pay a ####ab#### gayne

A thousande or twayne

915

Of his golde in store

And yet he payde before

[An] hunderd pounde and more An] And K, An T, Kit, M

Whiche pyncheth him sore

My lordis grace wyll brynge

920

Downe this hye Sprynge

ref.ed: 303

And brynge it so lowe

It shall nat euer flowe nat euer flowe] neuer ouer flowe R

¶Suche a prelate I trowe

Were worthy to rowe

925

Thorow the streytes of Marock of] T, Kit, M omit

sig: [C7]

To the gybbet of Baldock

He wolde dry vp the stremys

Of .ix. kinges realmys

All ryuers and wellys

930

All waters that swellys

For with vs he so mellys

That within Englande dwellys

I wolde he were somwhere ellys

For els by and by

935

He wyll drynke vs so drye so] R omits

And suck vs so nye

That men shall scantly

Haue peny or halpeny

God saue his noble grace

940

And graunt him a place

Endlesse to dwell

With the deuyll of hell

For and he were there

We nede neuer feere nede neuer] nedyd neuer to R

945

Of the fendys blake

For I vnder ####ab#### take

He wolde so brag and crake

That he wolde than make

sig: [C7v]

The deuyls to quake

950

To shudder and to shake

Lyke a fyer-drake fyer] fyrye R

And with a cole-rake

Brose them on a brake Brose] Bruse T, Kit, M

And bynde them to a stake

955

And set hell on fyer hell] all R

At his owne desyer

He is suche a grym syer

And suche a potestolate And] And make R

And suche a potestate potestate] prostrate R

ref.ed: 304

960

That he wolde breke the braynes

Of Lucyfer in his chaynes Lucyfer] Lucyfers K, Lucyfer T, Lucifer Kit, M

And rule them echone

In Lucyfers trone

I wolde he were gone

965

For amonge vs is none

That ruleth / but he alone

With-out all good reason

And all out of season

For Folam peason

970

With him be nat geson

They growwe very ranke

sig: [C8]

Upon euery banke

Of his herbers grene

With my lady bryght and shene

975

Of theyr game it is sene

They play nat all clene

And it be as I wene

¶But as touchynge dystrectyon dystrectyon] dyscrecyon M, R, distrection T, Kit

With sober dyrectyon

980

He kepeth them in subiectyon

[Non] can haue protectyon Non can haue] They can haue no K, T, Kit, M, Non can haue R

To rule nor to guyde

But all must be tryde

And abyde the correctyon

985

Of his wylfull affectyon his] him T, Kit, M

For as for wytte

The deuyll spede whitte

But braynsyk and braynlesse

Wytles and rechelesse

990

Careles and shamlesse Careles] Marcyles R

Thriftles and gracelesse

To ####ab#### gether are bended bended] wendyd R

And so condyscended

sig: [C8v]

That the commune-welth

995

Shall neuer haue good helth

But tatterd and tuggyd tatterd] taxed R

Raggyd / and ruggyd

Shauyn and shorne

And all threde-bare worne

ref.ed: 305

1000

Suche gredynesse

Suche nedynesse

Myserablenesse

With wretchydnesse

Hath brought in dystresse in] muche R

1005

And moche heuy[n]esse

And great dolowre dolowre] dullness R

Englande the flowre Englande] To Englande R

Of relucent honowre

In olde commemoracion

1010

Most royall Englyssh nacion

Now all is out of facion

Almost in desolation

I speke by protestacion

God of his miseracyon

1015

Send better reformacyon

Lo / for to do shamfully Lo] Soo R

sig: D1

He iugeth it no foly

But to wryte of his shame

He sayth we ar to blame

1020

What a frensy is this

No shame to do amys

And yet he is a ####ab#### shamed

To be shamfully named named] name M

And ofte prechours be blamed ofte] the R

1025

Bycause they haue proclamed

His madnesse by writynge

His symplenesse resytynge

Remordynge and bytynge

With chydyng and with flytynge flytynge] fiting Kit, M, fliting T

1030

Shewynge him goddis lawis

He calleth the prechours dawis

¶And of holy scriptures sawis

He counteth them for gygawis

And putteth them to sylence

1035

And with wordis of vyolence

Lyke Pharao / voyde of grace

Dyd Moyses sore manase sore] R omits

And Aron sore he thret

sig: [D1v]

The worde of god to let worde] wordis R; to] he R

ref.ed: 306

1040

This maumet in lyke wyse

Against the churche doth ryse

The prechour he dothe dyspyse

With craky[n]ge in suche wyse crakynge] crakyyge K

So braggynge all with bost

1045

That no prechour almost

Dare speke for his lyfe

Of my lordis grace / nor his wyfe

For he hath suche a bull

He may take whom he wull

1050

And as many as him lykys him] he R

May ete pigges in lent for pikys

After the sectes of heretykis

For in lent he wyll ete wyll] doeth R

All maner of flesshe-mete

1055

That he can onywhere gete

With other abusyons grete

Wherof for to trete for] Kit, M omit

It wolde make the deuyll to swete It wolde make the deuyll to swete] Ye deuyll wold swete R

For all priuileged places

1060

He brekes and defaces

All placis of relygion

sig: [D2]

He hathe them in derisyon

And makith suche prouisyon

To dryue them at diuisyon

1065

And fynally in conclusyon

To bringe them to confusyon

Saint Albons to recorde

Wherof this vngracyous lorde

Hathe made him-selfe abbot

1070

Against their wylles god wot

All this he dothe deale

Under strength of the great seale In R, this line and the preceding one read: Under the strenght of the greate seale: Thys now he dothe meale

And by his legacy

Whiche madly he dothe apply

1075

Unto an extrauaga[n]cy

Pyked out of all good lawe of] M omits

With reasons that ben rawe

Yet whan he toke first his hat first] R omits

He said he knew what was what

ref.ed: 307

1080

All iustyce he pretended

All thynges sholde be a ####ab#### mended

All wronges he wolde redresse

All iniuris he wolde represse

All periuris he wolde oppresse

sig: [D2v]

1085

And yet this gracelesse elfe gracelesse] ungratyous R

He is periured him-selfe

As playnly it dothe appere

Who lyst to enquere

In the regestry

1090

Of my lorde of Cantorbury

To whom he was professed

In thre poyntes expressed

The fyrst to do him reuerence

The seconde to owe hym obedy[e]nce obedyence] obedynce K

1095

The thirde with hole affectyon

To be vnder his subiectyon

But now he maketh obiectyon But] And R; obiectyon] dyrectyon R

Under the protectyon

Of the kynges great seale great] brode R

1100

That he setteth neuer a deale

By his former othe

Whether god be pleased or wroth

He makith so proude pretens

That in his equipolens

1105

He i[u]gyth him equiualent him] hymselfe R; equiualent] equypolent R

With god omnipotent

But yet beware the rod

sig: D3

And the stroke of god.

The apostyll Peter apostyll] wholly apostle R

1110

Had [but on] pore myter but on] a K, T, Kit, M

And a poore cope

Whan he was creat pope

First in Antioche

He dyd neuer approche

1115

Of Rome to the see

Weth suche dygnyte

Saynt Dunstane what was he

Nothynge he sayth lyke to we to we] to mee T, to me Kit, M, we R

There is a dyuersyte

ref.ed: 308

1120

By ####ab#### twene him and me

We passe hym in degre

As legatus a latere

Ecce sacerdos magnus

That wyll hed vs and hange vs

1125

And str[e]itly strangle vs streitly] strcitly K

And he may fange vs And] That Kit, M

Decre and de[cr]etall decretall] deecetall K, decretall T, M, decretal Kit,

Constytucyon prouincyall

Nor no lawe canonicall

1130

Shall let the preest pontyficall

sig: [D3v]

To syt in causa sanguinis

Nowe god amende that is a ####ab#### mys

For I suppose that he is

Of Ieremy the whyskynge rod

1135

The flayle / the scourge The flayle] R omits

Of almighty god

This Naman Sirus Sirus] tyrus R

So fell and so irous

So full of male[n]coly

1140

With a flap afore his eye afore] before Kit, M, R

Men wene that he is pocky wene that] say R

Or els his surgions they lye

For as far as the[y] can spy they] the K, thei T, they Kit, M

By the craft of surgery

1145

It is manus domini

And yet this proude Antiochus

He is so ambicious

So elate / and so vicious

And so cruell-hertyd

1150

That he wyll nat be conuertyd That] R omits

For he setteth god a ####ab#### part

He is nowe so ouerthwart nowe] R omits

And so payned with pangis

sig: [D4]

That all his trust hangis trust] harte R

1155

In Balthasor / whiche heled

Domingos nose / that was wheled was] R omits

That Lumberdes nose meane I

That standeth yet a ####ab#### wrye

It was nat heled alderbest

1160

It standeth somwhat on the west

I meane Domy[n]go Lomelyn

ref.ed: 309

That was wont to wyn

Moche money of the kynge

At the cardys and haserdynge

1165

Balthasor that helyd domingos [n]ose nose] pose M

From the puskylde pocky pose puskylde] pusky R; pose] nose Kit

Now with his gummys of araby gummys] gynnys R

Hath promised to hele our cardinals eye

Yet sum surgions put a dout

1170

Lest he wyll put it clene out

And make him lame of his neder limmes

God sende him sorowe for his sinnes

Some men myght aske a question aske] make R

By whose suggesty[o]n suggestyon] suggestyrn K, subiectyon R

1175

I toke on hand this warke

Thus boldly for to barke

sig: [D4v]

And men lyst to harke

And my wordes marke

I wyll answere lyke a clerke

1180

For trewly and vnfayned

I am forcebly constrayned

At Iuuynals request

To wryght of this glorious gest glorious] gromys R

Of this vayne-gloryous best

1185

His fame to be encrest

At euery solempne feest

Quia difficile est

Satiram non scribere?

Contra quendam doctorem suum calumpniatorem

K omits this heading, but it is added in R

Now mayster doctor / howe say ye

What-soeuer your name be

What though ye be namelesse

Ye shall nat escape blamelesse escape] be R

Nor yet shall scape shamlesse shall] R omits

Mayster doctor in your degre

Your-selfe madly ye ouer ####ab#### se

Blame Iuuinall and blame nat me

Maister doctor d[ecretor]um decretorum] diricum K, T, Kit, M, decretoum R

Omne / animi vicium. etc.

ref.ed: 310

As Iuuinall dothe recorde

sig: [D5]

A small defaute in a great lorde

A lytell cryme in a great astate

Is moche more inordinate

And more horyble to beholde horyble] dyshonorable R

Than any other a thousand-folde any] yn any R

Ye put to blame ye wot nere whom nere] nott R

Ye may weare a cockes-come

Your fonde hed in your furred hode in your] yn a R

Holde ye your tong ye can no goode ye your] your R

And at more conuenyent tyme

I may fortune for to ryme

Som-what of your madnesse

For small is your sadnesse

To put any man in lack

And say yll behynde his back

And my wordes marke truly And my wordes marke truly] and espetyally to make a lye R

That ye can nat byde thereby

For Smigma non est sinamomum

But de absentibus nil nisi bonum

Complayne or do what ye wyll

Of your complaynt it shall nat skyl

This is the tenor of my byl

A daucock ye be / and so shalbe styll.

sig: [D5v]

¶Sequitur epitoma De morbilloso Thoma Nec non obsceno De poliphemo. etc.

POrro perbelle dissimmulatum

Illud pandulphum tantum legatum

Tam formidatum nuper prelatum

Ceu / Naman sirum nunc elongatum

In solitudine iam commoratum

Neapolitano morbo grauatum

Malagmate / Cataplasmat[e] st[r]atum Cataplasmate stratum] Cataplasmati statum K, T, Kit, M

Pharmac[o]pol[e] ferro foratum Pharmacopole] Pharmacapoli K, Pharmacopoly T, Pharma copoli Kit, M

Nihilo magis alleniatum

Nihilo melius aut medicatum

Relictis famulis ad famulatum

Quo tollatur infamia

Sed maior patet insania

A modo ergo Ganea

Abhoreat ille Ganeus

Dominus male Creticus

Aptius Dictus Tetricus

Phanaticus freneticus

sig: [D6]

Graphicus sicut Metricus

Autumat.

HOc genus dictamini

Non eg[e]t examinis eget] egit K, T, Kit, M

In centiloquio nec centimetro

Honorati

Grammatici

Mauri.

¶Decastic[h]on

Decastichon] Decasticon K, T, Kit, M

virulentum in galeratum / Licaonta marinum .etc.

PRogh dolor / ecce maris lupus et nequissimus. vrsus

Carnificis vitulus Britonumque bubulcus iniquus

Conflatus / vitulus / vel Oreb / vel Salmana / vel zeb.

Carduus / et crudelis Asaphque Datan reprobatus

Blandus et Acchitiphel / regis scelus omne Britannum

Ecclesias / qui namque Thomas confundit vbique

Non sacer iste / Thomas / sed duro corde / Goleas

Quem gestat Mulus sathane cacet (obsecro culus

Fundens Aspaltum (precor hunc versum lege cautum)

Asperius nichil est misero quum surget in altum.

¶Apostropha a[d]

ad] an K, T, Kit, M

Londini ciues (citanto mulum asino aureo galerato) in occursum a[selli]

aselli] aguile K, T, Kit, M

.etc.

EX[c]itat e[n] asinus mulum (mirabile / visu) Excitat] Exitat K, T, Kit, M

Calcibus: O vestro ciues occurite Asello.

Qui regnum regemque regit qui vestra gubernat

Predia diuitias / nummos gasas spoliando.

¶Dixit, alludens / immo illudens parodoxam de asino aureo galerato ,xxxiiii.

Hec vates ille / de quo lo[qun]tur mille loquntur] lounqtur K, loquntur T, Kit, M

sig: [D7]

¶Imprinted at london by me Richard kele dwelling in the powltry at the longe shop vnder saynt myldredes chyrch.

sig: [D7v]